SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! Learn more
    REDSHOES2011   35,840
SparkPoints 		30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Update on son...

Thursday, May 03, 2012

I got a sms 11 pm he has turned up safely.. I went to work not knowing if he had disappeared yesterday because of
1. friends encouraging him hang out to do drugs,
2.has a girlfriend putting wrong ideas into his head so he dumps a super education
3.was actually so disappointed at me also being pissed at him and considering was suicide like he has told me before..

The comment on my orignal blog- I will think about it on top of everything else I am contending with right now and going through totally "alone"..

My foster parents and I have tried to give my son the best of everything.


It will be ages before I let go hugging him next time I see him alone.. I intend to do what ever is necessary to help him behave himself, including moving him away from our area and present friends.. Especially now the when the police got involved returning him home and having a good long chat with the foster parents.. Then he does this number running away over night efter promising to stick to reasonable parent rules..
1. ask to do stuff - let us adults know plans- saves people getting worried
2. invite friends home hell invite the parents too- helps sell social plans
3. school work first enjoyment efterwards at all times..
4. if wanting extra pocket money, get off ass and work for it..
5. show responsiblity to get more rights..

We are not saying no, just middle of the road common sense rules.. The foster parents realise he is almost 18, they and I were young once.. Everyone needs rules- earth would be chaos without any rules..
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FELICIAKS 5/10/2012 10:42AM

  have no children, so can't even imagine the horror and terror you must have been feeling. i'm a child of an alcoholic and that tremendous need of control just never goes away for me, and this situation sounds so much like a "love, pray, be there, and yet accept". So hard, and many kudos to you for sticking to it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 5/5/2012 10:53AM

    so sorry you are having such a mess with your son...... it is hard I know ... had things with my sons also. Hang in there and don't stop loving him, sometimes that is all we can do. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NDTEACHER1 5/4/2012 5:22PM

    It's easy to give advice if you've never been through it. Raising children can be the toughest job you ever do. I will just be here to offer an ear if you need it, unless you've lived it you don't know.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KALYNWINN 5/4/2012 11:46AM

    So glad y'all found him. Stick to your guns with the rules tho. I've seen sooo many kids end up in really bad situations because the parents quit demanding a certain amount of responsibility. In the end, it will all be worth it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARCHIMEDESII 5/4/2012 9:53AM

    Oh am so glad your son has been sound safe.

emoticon

I know he seems to be challenging boundaries. He wants to be an adult, but still doesn't understand the responsibilities that go with being an adult. Is there some activity he really enjoys ? music ? art ? sports ? maybe if he took guitar lessons, that would help give him some direction for that excess energy he has. I some times think that if kids had something to do with their spare time, they're less likely to join up with the rough crowd. And well, he could always get a job. Let him work for a living if he wants money.

The others are right, there are plenty of respectable adults who had their fare share of issues. but, they turned out okay in the end.

Also, you could always show him these photos of "meth" addicts. the recreational drugs may seem like fun now, but this is what could happen to him if he doesn't smarten up.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
news/article-2138407/The-faces-
despair-Shocking-images-meth-ad
dicts-reveal-devastating-effect
s-dangerous-drug.html?ICO=most_
read_module





Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERRY666 5/4/2012 9:53AM

    Glad he's back safe. *hug*

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHIRLEYX 5/4/2012 9:17AM

    So glad he is back safe and sound!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SRHALLIN 5/4/2012 8:26AM

    Very glad to hear that your son is safely home again.

You know, it astounds me how many young people today think that being an adult means "doing what you want." instead of doing what needs to be done. There's so much less appreciation for the fact that adults don't get to follow whatever whimsical urge takes us. We have to go to work, pay our bills, look after our families, follow the laws of the realm, respect other people's space/property/boundaries etc.

Hopefully this will get clarified for your son before anything particularly unpleasant finds it's way to him. He sounds like a good kid with some very unhealthy misconceptions about what it means to grow up. You're doing the right thing, and trying to guide him into adulthood in the least painful way. Best of luck to you both!

Report Inappropriate Comment
USMAWIFE 5/4/2012 8:13AM

    glad your son turned up ok and praying that there is someone who can help get through to him

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEDICATED2HIM 5/4/2012 3:40AM

    I'm so glad your son turned up okay. Keep on loving him and keep giving him boundaries --at least as long as he is either 18 or living under your roof. Kids know when they are loved, no matter how badly they act. My daughter was in all kinds of HORRIBLE behavior and trouble ever since she was in 8th grade (she's 20 now and turned out to be a wonderful, beautiful, considerate person.)...I recently told her, "You know, back in those years...I never ever stopped loving you, but I really didn't like you very much." and she answered "I didn't like myself." But she always knew she was deeply loved and no matter what trouble she got into, she always knew that she had a home where she was loved and welcomed.
Good luck with him. don't give up...sometimes things turn out better than we expect. emoticon
Cynthia

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.