Thursday, May 03, 2012
Wow! I think I love this place! I am down another 1 1/2 pounds this morning. I keep forgetting to log in my exercise, what little of it there is. I live out in the country down a little dirt road. I just need to put on my tunes and take a strool at least. Why am I having such a hard time just making myself get out and do it!??????
Maybe it is a depression thing> Maybe it is the fear of just jumping back into real"living". My son dieed on 9/3/11 at the age of 32. That was the worst day of my life. Everyone tells me it will get better with time. What does that mean? Does it mean I will miss him less? I doubt that will happen. Does it mean I will forget him? Still not gonna happen. Maybe it means I will not miss him less, but just that I can think of him without this awful pain in my heart. That is what I am looking forward to. I think part of my problem is that a part of me died with him. I am finally ready to get back among the living and get back among the people I love who are still here rather than just going thuough the motions. I am ready to be happy again and get on with my life.