Wednesday, May 02, 2012
How could I forget that yesterday was the two year anniversary of my boyfriend's accident?
Probably because everything is no longer a crisis, there aren't doctor's appointments every week, there are no more surgeries, thank you God! for seeing us through.
I am sad that he lives in an assisted living facility and the kids and I live in our home. I am sad that our lives don't connect the way I think they should. I'm sad for all he lost, for all I lost, for all we lost as a couple, for what all 3 kids lost.
I am ready to move forward, get back out into the world, doing things, go places, enjoy the weather and the great city we live in but he's not. And it makes me sad to realize that he may never be ready. It makes me sad because I know that the kids and I will go on and he won't be there to enjoy it with us, to be part of the memories. It's his loss though and I can't hold myself back any longer. If I am ready and he's not, I still have to move forward.
The best thing I can do is take care of myself so I can be good for the kids and strong for him, strong for myself most importantly.