Wednesday, May 02, 2012
I'm at this awful place in my life where I feel stuck. I know I enjoy drawing and painting and I even bought the supplies to create wonderful things - watercolors, acrylic paints, charcoal pencils, lots and lots of paper. I want to fill my free time by creating wonderful and lovely artwork. Something I used to enjoy doing before college. Unfortunately, I've only started one drawing and then put everything away for the past two weeks. What is my deal?
Well, I think I've figured it out. I'm waiting to feel "inspired" to create. I'm afraid to just jump in and maybe create something that I hate - to fail.
How silly!
Who cares if my first drawing/painting comes out terrible? At least I would have done something...ANYTHING - it's better to create something, than to never create anything, right?
I just need to take a giant leap in and start creating something! I know that once I get started the creativity will start to flow...and if it doesn't? Oh well, at least I tried.
I've found that I have this fear in other areas of my life. I haven't written a blog in a very long time, mostly because I'm afraid that I will fail to reach an audience when the only audience I should care about is myself.
I've been slacking on writing my thesis, mainly because it seems so daunting and I'm not exactly sure where to start. I just need to put words down on paper (or word document) and get my ideas out of my head. This would at least dampen some of the stress I currently have. Who cares if it is terrible? First drafts are never perfect. At least I would have something written down, instead of a blank outline.
I need to take more initiative in my life - I buy the art supplies; I write an outline for my thesis; I make a workout plan for the week - but I never seem to follow through. I sit on my couch watching TV afraid that I will fail instead of living my life and having success along with failure. The couch seems so safe.
I guess I need to live by the saying - "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." ~ Babe Ruth
Well this is my chance to take a few swings. So here I go! One blog down - and I don't believe I failed. (in fact, I've motivated myself to start a new watercolor painting)
Here goes nothing,
Christi