Wednesday, May 02, 2012
I do well for a while and then I seem to wander off from my goals. I am wandering in a direction that coupled with the fact that I am now on insulin results in weight gain. This will not end in a place that I want to go.
So this ends today. Today is the day that I do the things that I know will help me. I stop making excuses for why I can't or telling myself that I don't want to. Yes, I get sugar cravings, Yes I can choose to eat the sugar. But the reality is that there is only a few minutes where I really want to. If I don't eat it the world does not end. If I do eat it there is not a positive feeling of something satisfied.
As I write I realize that I need to come up with a list of things that do satisfy. What will make me feel good instead of defeated and really kind of "icky" inside my body when I have had too much sugar.
I tell myself I don't like to clean but really the feeling of warm soapy water is not so bad. I do love the results of a clean room.
I love the results when I have crochet something lovely or useful.
I enjoy the time I spend sewing, however occasional that is.
I like to play with the calligraphy pen.
I want to learn to spin yarn. I have started. How much wool could I buy for the price of the junk I am giving up.
I could use some of the creative energy to make more creative and pleasing food. Something to think about.
I can know that it is my choice to eat the stuff that makes me feel bad but, that I can choose a better path. Maybe I can write when I want to munch. See what happens if I really pay attention to the craving. If I am stress eating that just might put the breaks on it.
If I do decide I want a treat I need to make sure that hunger is not the reason. Not that I should eat when I am not hungry but, I should not eat sugar first when I am hungry.
I am tired of the creep the wrong direction on the scale. I want to prove to myself and my doctor that I can choose healthy foods that help me lose weight.
Here I am watch me go. Thanks to all that come with me.