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Friends & Other Ramblings...

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I just noticed that it's been quite some time since I blogged, let alone sparked. I remember when I first joined Spark almost 3 yrs ago. I was so committed to logging on here and checking in on all my friends. I had people who friended me and people I friended. I had people who would friend me but not say a word to me on my page or in sparkmail so I knew nothing about them. I felt like I was just added to be a number. Then after awhile, I started looking at all my friends and realized that there were so many whom I never talked with or acknowledged and vice versa. And that's when I decided that I was going to become more selective on who I added. I would subscribe to peoples blogs that really spoke to me, but that didn't mean I had to befriend them. I had close to 300 friends at one point but as I started deleting unknown friends, and blogging less, and being in less groups (just couldn't keep up) it really just stopped mattering to me. But I have discovered that my good friends I know outside of SP, like on FB or I've talked to them on the phone or via text. Relationships are so important to me. Connecting with others over a common bond-whatever it may be. I am discovering as I write this that I miss having a connection with others here. But being realistic with myself, I know that I don't have the time I used to have to be here daily. And I find it very frustrating.

This year, I've made a lot of changes in my eating style. I joined OA in mid to late January and have not had any processed sugar, desserts, drinks, etc. Just fruit. It is not always easy but I know that I am better for not being in the horrible cycle I get in when I consume so much sugar. I am not eating the best however, for the most part, I'm in tune with my body and know when I am full. And I appreciate that. I don't choose to numb myself with food to forget what might be upsetting me in my life at that moment. I work through it and spend a lot of time praying too.

Today I find myself conflicted. I have been contemplating doing Body By Vi. I have heard some positive things about it. However, I don't want to undo the progress I've made with OA-which like SP & FB lately, I haven't been attending regularly. I also want to exercise more. Last week I did get in a solid hour of walking. I was proud that I did that. But I'm not consistently exercising. I sit at my job 10.5 hrs a day-minus bathroom breaks-and I just have absolutely NO desire to get up and leave the desk while I'm there. But when I'm off? I'm going going going. Especially if I have MK customers I am seeing. I like being busy like that. I don't like just sitting in front of a computer and not having face to face contact with others (besides my coworker). I really think I need a new life. I know that MK is the direction I want to go permanently. However, I need something closer to home. I need a change. I want to get dressed up in the morning and feel good about the way I look and feel. Right now, where I work, I am at work at 06:30. I barely have time to get dressed and I have no desire to look attractive for myself let alone anyone else. How do I promote my MK business if I don't feel good about myself? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm in deep depression or feeling unattractive all the time. I just know that I need to make some changes to my career lifestyle because it's not conducive to my physical and mental health!

It's time to make a plan for my future!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Glad to see your blog. I feel very fortunate to be one of your friends both on and off of here and to live close enough to do things together :-) I love our walks and talks!

    I too have every confidence that you can do whatever you put your mind too. emoticon
    2027 days ago
    As your Spark name says, run to your dreams! Don't ever stop going after what you really want in life.
    2027 days ago
    Great blog, Simone! I know you haven't been happy there for a while. Take some time to figure things out - that's what I am doing. I know I am going to make a change but I am not sure just what it is yet.

    So glad to see your smiling face!

    2027 days ago
    I believe in you and your ability to make change in your life.
    2027 days ago
  • NEWNAC304
    It's good to hear from you again. Good luck finding the right job for you.
    2028 days ago
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