Wednesday, May 02, 2012
I am famous for saying that I'm going to start a diet, or start an exercise routine and then lo and behold, I never stick with it. I can't do that this time. I originally lost 40+ pounds with help from Phentermine, but I stopped taking it. I didn't like what it was doing to my body and I would get really moody. That was close to 2 years ago already and I have gained about 20 pounds back.
My reasons for wanting to lose weight are many. They include feeling better about the way I look, and wanting to be able to wear cute clothing or a skimpier bathing suit. But they aren't the most important to m.! I really want to be healthy! I have 2 bad knees. When I was 40 lbs. heavier, I couldn't bend over without it being a big chore. My back would hurt me and my knee would give out on me all the time. After I lost the weight, I found that I could bend and crouch down with no problem. My knee wouldn't give me as much trouble either! But now I'm back to a sore right knee, can barely bend over, and I recently twisted my left ankle.
But I refuse to let this stop me from obtaining my health goals! I am not dieting because as soon as I get it into my head that I am starting a diet, I get hungry and stuff my face. I have a food addiction, I'm not going to sugar coat it! I justify it being okay because I feel that at least it's not an alcohol or drug addiction. I know that is wrong to do, so I'm not going to be judgmental any longer. It's an addiction, and I'm not proud of it. I'm going to try and make a conscious effort to eat healthier and reduce my portions, but I'm not calling it a diet! I would like to take up jogging, but realize that I must strengthen my knee and my ankle before I do that. So I plan to buy a band and stretch it with my legs for this purpose. I am also going to do more walking...at least 3 days per week for at least 30 minutes.
I am very proud of myself because I did get out and walk for 30 minutes on Monday and 60 minutes this morning! My knee and ankle are not very happy with me, but they're just going to have to get over it and keep up! You are all so motivational on Spark People, but I have such a hard time staying motivated. I would love to change my addiction to food to an addiction to exercise...or to stay on track, or not give up so easily as I've done in the past. I appreciate all the help and all the stories you all continue to post!