Wednesday, May 02, 2012
I have had quite the struggle with weight my whole life. Deemed the fat girl in school I was always worried about how I looked, what I was eating, and what my clothes looked like on me causing me to change over and over again before I went out; something I still do to this day. I have been a Spark member since 2006 and I actually was at my healthy weight but unfortunately after going through a rough time I gained it all back and then some, reaching my highest weight at 250lbs. Working at a fast-food restaurant defiantly did not help especially since we were allowed to eat for FREE! I convinced myself that I would save money if I just ate there and it would be easier to pack one less lunch. I packed on 50lbs in the year I was working there and living with my ex. I remember feeling like I was hopeless. I would ask my ex for motivation to lose weight and he would call me names (he said that was his motivation; an ex for a good reason) and play with my tummy.
The day I left him I vowed to lose weight. I wanted to feel good about myself again and the one thing I learned about being in that relationship is that I lost myself and needed to find me again. I finally wanted to do this for me and no one else. I mean donít get me wrong it is very nice proving to the people that told me I couldnít lose weight and even nicer hearing the compliments but when it comes down to it I want this so I can be healthy, have energy, and not have aches. I mean common Iím only 24, it shouldnít be a chore to do simple things. Throughout my journey, so far (since November) there have been ups and downs. I went through a couple hard months, after my breakup and having my grandmother pass away. I have gone through weeks where I have lost weight and weeks where I have gained but I just try to forget about the past and not let it bother me. It I have a bad day, who cares it was one day it wonít affect me all that much, go for a walk and eat right tomorrow!
Today I have reached my 50lb mark. I have pushed through plateaus and I am finally at a point where I donít feel ashamed about my body. People are noticing my efforts and it feels great! I get cravings occasionally but for the most part I can control them and my favorite is fat-free frozen yoghurt so a little bit of that can usually satisfy. Exercise is also a big part of my life now. I go to interval boxing 2 times a week, do cardio, and I have recently started running now that I am becoming more comfortable.
My goal right now is to keep up with the running and healthy living so that I can run in the marathon this fall.