Wednesday, May 02, 2012
So I am really trying to climb out of this self imposed exile I put myself in. I am so focused on my DH that I have lost track of everything else. The thing is, he's fine. He is so good and happy about the amputation. He is so positive and amazing and is actually the "old" Jeremy again. We always joke that he is my balance because I am such a pessimist and always worried and he's totally opposite. He always used to see the bright side and now he is again. I am just so scared of what's next that I don't sleep much, or eat right, or anything. It's a huge life changer for me too. I don't know if he realizes that while he feels free I feel only more pressure. I am going to school to be a nurse, packing up our house to move, hustling to be sure the boys and him have enough to eat, worrying about how I am going to pay for so much that they need while he just tra la las away. I don't know. It's more then I ever expected to go through. I didn't know that I would feel like this.