Wednesday, May 02, 2012
These days are the reasons I did my Positive Blogs...the mind games have begun. Just last week I was so positive about how I look and feel and how far I have come in the past year.
Today I am fretting because I saw pics from the weekend and they do not match how I was feeling!?!?!
Last week I was happy with my exercise efforts and acknowledge that I went over cals many days but ate within reason without binging or emotional eating. Last week I accepted that the scale has not budged in weeks because my body is changing with continued exercise. Last week I was a proud loose size 14. I could try on anything in a 14 and it fit. I was proud to clean out a few peices of clothes that were just too big and unflattering. Last week I felt tall, long, and strong.
Last week I felt like I was victorius in this battle. I encouraged others and promised them hope and better days to come.
Today I am mad that I have to struggle like this. I am mad that I don't look as good as I thought. I feel like a bulky stump. I am mad that I cannot eat just a few cals over and not lose weight. I want to eat anything and everything to make myself feel better. I want, I want, I want...
But because of Spark, because of all my Spark Friends, because I know I suffer from PMS, because I know there are better days to come, because I know that this too shall pass, I will, I will, I will...do my best to stay busy and thankful for the 33lbs that have been gone for one whole year.
May God have the glory and honor.