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Degrees of "Blondness"

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Married couple were asleep when the phone rang 
at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone, 
listened a moment and said 'How should I know; that's 200 miles 
from here!' and hung up. 
The husband said, 'Who was that?' 

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'


Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the 
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror 
and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' 

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' 

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and 
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the 
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really 
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is 
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. 

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. 
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.' 

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' 
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . it's W.'


Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? 

A: 'Is it mine?' 


Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US 
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what 
Roe vs. Wade was about. 

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision 
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'


Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house 
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and 
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, 
and a K-9 unit, patrolling
 nearby, was the first to respond. 

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde 
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then 
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come 
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do 
they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

Out of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best! Football FINALLY makes sense........... 
A guy took his  girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. 
'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.' 

ded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'  

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like.....Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!!
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