Wednesday, May 02, 2012
I can't say that I've completely changed the sense of denial I feel about my weight. However, it is strange that after now losing almost 30 pounds (from my heaviest point) I sometimes feel MORE aware of just how heavy I am than ever before. I found out recently how much two of my friends weigh and it was very, very humbling to me because I was so sure they weighed more than me...and they don't. They weigh less. So, I am having to face the harsh realization that the me I see in the mirror might not really be reality. I can't continue to think that the photos I see-where obviously I am very large- are just bad angles. So I am in a quandary of sorts...I want to be proud of my weight loss...but I am ashamed of the way I still look. So, this is something I am struggling with today.