A change in plans...
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Things have been kind of crazy. I had been working on my gardens as much as I could, although the weather didn't want to cooperate a whole lot. I had made the decision to talk to my physician at my next appointment about my options...
My BMR was around 2700. I was eating around 1500, with the occasional Saturday as a date night/drink night with friends. Even then, I wasn't going over 2700. I wasn't working out as much as I would've liked, but my legs have been in bad shape- very restless and sore at night, mostly on the days I worked out. For awhile I was taking either aspirin/tylenol every night, just to be able to fall asleep. So I wanted to talk to her, and discuss how things weren't working out, etc etc.
Well, it seems I'll be talking to her about something else. Last week, I got a positive pregnancy test. I'm really surprised. While we weren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy, I haven't had my period in over a year. And I really thought my PCOS had taken a turn for the worse- I was getting cyst pains, and it seemed to me the darker areas of my skin were getting darker. I was finding a few more hairs in places there shouldn't be hair...
I'm very happy to be pregnant, but very scared too. I'm a natural child birth advocate and believer, with my last birth being at home with a wonderful midwife. There was no fear, and no anxiety. With my first, I would describe the hospital and everything as traumatic and frightening. So here I am, in a different town, with no access to a trusted (and understanding) midwife. I have a diagnosis of Diabetes, Type II, and every OB in the neighborhood wants to cut me open rather than let me do what I KNOW my body can do. I face the next 9 months fighting for my right to give birth without unnecessary intervention, fighting the stigma of being fat and pregnant and diabetic.
I truly believe that as long as my Blood Sugars are controlled, things will be fine. According to the NIDDK, "research has shown that when women with diabetes keep blood glucose levels under control before and during pregnancy, the risk of birth defects is about the same as in babies born to women who don't have diabetes." This is key.
Of course, as of right now, I'm fighting to keep those sugar levels in check. My fasting has been high, though it seems to be going down as I force myself to eliminate simple carbs and anything that raises my blood sugar. I've also forced myself to work out each day, no matter how tired and sick I feel. I can't give in, and hopefully I'll be rewarded with a doctor/midwife who understands this, and understands how important an intervention free birth is to me.
So we're taking it one day at a time. My first appointment is Thursday (which is another reason I'm stressed- not knowing how this appointment is going to go. That and not having any idea how far along I am...) and I should know if we'll need insulin or not. Luckily I have a great supportive husband, and morning sickness has been minimal. I'm keeping the news on the down-low until hopefully after the end of the first trimester.
Some things I'm keeping in mind:
"High risk doesn't mean you'll have problems. Instead, high risk means you need to pay special attention to your health"
"Millions of high-risk pregnancies produce perfectly healthy babies without the mom's health being affected. Special care and attention are the keys."
I just need to take care of myself, sacrifice a little comfort, and chances are, we'll be fine.