All last week I was feeling off. I felt run down, slightly dizzy and just over all tired with a little more tummy upset then usual. I didn’t really think anything of it because I always have an upset tummy and some days are better than others. Also, I didn’t feel I was getting very good sleep. My work outs weren’t so great because I would get exhausted in them almost instantly and I just didn’t have the focus. More times than not I cut them short due to dizziness or switched them up to something with lighter intensity. (The whole week I forgot to log my workouts on spark. Ugh!) I thought possibly what I was feeling was just a mad case of the blues that was manifesting itself into the physical.
Even though I was run down lots of change happened last week with my work out partner in crime, C. During our walks / hikes I planted the seed and watered it hoping like hell she would work up the courage to follow her dreams. I ran her across town to gather paper work, helped her filled out forms and this week I got to see her dream start to form! She is now a student at a highly accredited beauty academy. YAY! I am so excited for her. She calls me almost everyday to tell me how she did at school. She is having a hard time with her anxiety when it comes to the labs. I have been working her through it and giving her the tools she needs so she can feel more at ease. On Wednesday she called me to tell me she opted out of a lab because she “couldn’t do it.” I gave her a gentle but swift kick to her behind. I told her she was there to learn and by not even doing the lab she just sold herself short. I let her know that like me we HAVE to push to do things that make us uncomfortable. She agreed and asked how she could fix it. I told her do the lab at home and take it to her teacher for evaluation so her teacher can point out to her what she is doing right / wrong. She got excited and agreed. I also told her the reason why she is feeling miserable is because she knows deep down inside going the easy road was not a good thing.
Thursday I felt super run down and cranky but kept my horrible attitude to myself. I tried to keep that positive frame of mind. I went to visit my dad which he mentioned I looked pale. I didn’t think anything of it as I was sporting my cute new rain coat I got and that was making me happy! OMG is it so cute and I got it on sale! Everywhere I went I got compliments.
(Pic of my rain coat. No thats not me.)
After my dads I had to pick C up from school. She wanted to practice giving a mani on me for her test tomorrow. All I could think of as I was waiting in the car for her was how much I wanted a cup of tea and my bed. Then she texted me asking me to meet her at the front door of her school so her new friends could meet “her biggest supporter”. Uh…ok. This isn’t something I am exactly comfortable with but I will roll with it.
So, I walk in the door and there she was with a huge smile. The first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh wow! I love your new coat!” I did a small spin giving her my thanks for the compliment and when I came back around I was surrounded by her new friends. For me it was like slamming into a wall. All the new faces, names, and personalities. However, the energy coming off them was so positive and supportive of one another. I got compliments on my new coat for which I replied, “it’s the only time I am happy that it is rainy out so I can wear it!” Then C said, “I would probably wear that coat to bed! It is so cute! You are going to have to tell me where you got it. I want one!” heh…YAY! After all that I took her to Sally Beauty Supply and back to my house. She gave me a mani and her hubby came to pick her up to take her out to dinner.
I spent Friday trying to get things done around the house but felt like crap. I managed to get most my weekly cleaning done: floors swept and mopped, most of the laundry done, living room and dining room straightened and dusted, as well as the kitchen fully deep down cleaned for the week. Saturday I spent on the phone with customer support because our Uverse had been acting up and then we went grocery shopping. By then I was feeling completely run down. I slept in Sunday hoping a good nights rest would make me feel better. We had a tech coming to fix the Uverse so we couldn’t go see my dad. I made sure to eat lunch and stay hydrated.
At about 3:30 in the afternoon the tech still hadn’t arrived. I was folding my last load of laundry when the room started to spin. The kind of spinning that happens when you drank entirely too much. I staggered up the steps to the second floor bathroom and preceded to die. Yeup, I tossed my cookies and couldnt stop. Oh, I made sure to get it everywhere too. It was “The Exorcist” kinda stuff sans the pea soup.
I have to say I spent my late teens and early 20s drinking like a sailor. I spent many a nights hugging the porcelain God and sleeping on the floor of a bathroom. By the time I was 22 I decided all of that just wasn’t worth it anymore so I gave up drinking ENITRELY because I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. To feel that way and not have a clue why is frightening. At least when you are drinking you know you did it to yourself and in order to never experience that again you don’t do it ever again. Well, this was like the worst drinking experience I have ever had times 100! For 5 hours I spent holding my head a certain way so the room wouldn’t spin and I was hugging a bucket. At some points yes I was crying because all this was trying to trigger a panic attack.
When I am sick I like to be left alone in my misery so Mark was waiting in the wings for instruction and he was dealing with the Uverse tech. When the tech was gone he came to check on me which by then I was coming back from empting my bucket which the standing up and moving causing me to go through another bout of crazy vomiting. I had to give up and ask him to take care of me….I just couldn’t move. The rest of the evening was spent with poor Mark waiting on me hand and foot. Any request, any need, and any comfort he was there.
By midnight the lot of it ebbed and I was able to nap. At 3am I was ok enough to clean the bathroom because I insisted. Thank god we have a powder room downstairs so Mark didn’t have to be exposed to the madness in the main bathroom! (I know Mark can handle anything but puke. Hence why I was reluctant of having him help me and why I was aboslutely insisting I clean the bathroom!) While I was doing that he stripped the bed and put clean sheets on it. I showered and went back to bed.
When I woke this morning the house was spotless, dishes were done, the laundry basket of clothes was put away and dinner prepped for today. He even went to the store and picked up a few things including a pretty bouquet of get well daises. Wow! I am so grateful Mark was here. I don’t think I could have made it through without him!
I am still weak and only eating small bits of bland food: bananas, rice, crackers etc. I have been drinking Sprite (blech!) and just had a cup of green tea. My head is killing me, my throat hurts from throwing up and my tummy is still quite sensitive. I am back to the low level grade of dizzy I had been all week.
I am in the process of canceling all my appointments for the week and rearranging the Beltane celebration I was to host. We were already doing a pot luck but I was going to make the main dishes and main deserts. I broke down and told my ladies I needed help. They are all too happy. So, I have someone coming over tomorrow to help me cook and set up. I even texted Ethel and let her know I couldnt come to visit today. She absolutely understood. The rest of the week I am going to just veg out.
Mark told me he was a step away from taking me to the ER. He told me after it all that he was truly frightened for me. I know I was terrified. I have never felt that way unless I inflicted it upon myself via drinking. Hopefully it was just a tummy bug mixed with my nerves etc. Fingers crossed its nothing serious!
So, with everything canceled this week, me hardly eating and being weaker then a tiny kitten likely I will be stuck in neutral losing weight wise- unless I have lost weight from puking up half my innards. Lol Which…I am alive so that I can live with! ;) I don’t have any work outs planned for this week that’s how bad I feel. Hopefully by the end of the week I can get something in.
I want to thank all of you who sent me positive healing energy! I truly believe that when I sent out all the requests was when it started to ease some. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
Hope everyone is well!