Monday, April 30, 2012
Today is a good day. It was weighing time and before I stepped on the scales I was a little nervous, what would happen to my mood, if I hadn't lost as much as I hoped for. Luckily, there was no need to worry, because I lost the 2 lbs recommended by Sparkpeople.
I know there is still a long way to go, because according to the intrinsic motivation idea, the scales should not worry me, but I will keep trying to stick to my new, healthier lifestyle.
I am currently giving myself a pep talk every morning in order to remind me why it is worth changing my eating habits. My second Spark attempt has only been lasting 3 weeks, but I already notice so many changes.
I am happier, I am looking forward to food rather than being scared of it, I am more active, I have a positve attitude, I get things done (I was able to motivate myself to write my first essay for this semester on Saturday), but most importantly, I love to go out and meet with friends again. That is such a big thing to me, because for the past few months I just locked up in my appartement, watching tv binging on everything I could find. Plus I was putting up with a relationship that was not worth holding on to.
A few weeks back I finally made up my mind and split from my boyfriend. He loved smoking weed, but that made him so inactive (I guess that kind of influenced my lifestyle too). He kept saying it wouldn't change him, but having a little distance from our relationship now, I see how much it really did. He lost his job in January, but instead of trying to find a new one, he just soaked in his depression (as he called it) finding lots of reasons why weed would calm him down. Believe me he was not depressive, I've been there, he was just lazy. Another thing was that he never went to university, because he was "just so tired". He is paying so much money for uni (even though university in Germany costs a fraction of what it costs in the U.S.), why doesn't he go?
Anyways, I am free now and active and happy. :-) So for everyone who is not quite at the point of really starting their new lifestyle. I can just tell you - it is worth it. Not just because of the weight you are loosing but more because of the attitude towards yourself. The bad conscience just goes away as soon as you start taking care of yourself. Even when things are falling apart it is worth eating healthy. I tried to control bad situations with binge eating, telling myself that all the problems would go away, but they don't. By bingeating you actually add another problem to all the other ones you are trying to fight. So, just start and write in a diary about how you feel. After 3 weeks or so, read all of the entries you have written and you will notice a big difference from your starting point. That should help keep going for at least another 3 weeks.
Good luck to everyone!! :-)