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JITZUROE
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Did you know that Vampires wear Axe cologne spray?

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Well, that's what I think that scent was anyway. Every time I feel the soreness in my neck, I tell myself that I was in a mythical world recently, and a cleanly shaven, pasty-pale, rail-thin vampire was simply introducing himself to me. We all know that vampires don't shake hands, right? : )

My nerve procedure last week went pretty well, or at least I think it did. I am supposed to see some results in a week or two (I hope). I am extremely impatient, so this is a tough one for me. I lost a lot of the use of my right hand this past October, and it has been holding out for better things until now, I guess.
As for the actual vampire hand shake last Thursday, that only took about 30 minutes. We checked in before 9:00 a.m., and were home by lunch time.

Before we headed out that morning, I was looking for my Pain Center outfit. I actually have a specific pair of yoga pants, soft T-shirt, and wire-free undergarments set aside for my procedures. I have learned the hard way that zippers and buttons are not my friends while trying to set the world record for speed-changing - from behind the thinly veiled privacy curtain around my bed - all with the nurses and my husband exchange small talk about me (while standing 6 inches from me). I was looking for my monkey slippers and saw something in my closet. It was a shiny formal purse. Ladies, this question is for you. Don't we all have at least one fancy schmancy purse, meant to be brought somewhere wonderful like a nice dinner or to see a play? Well, I don't know about you, but I haven't gone to any place that demands extra rhinestones and an unflexible (and flammable) hairstyle for years. I thought it was about time to get some mileage on this purse!
I put my wallet, cell phone and chapstick into what was now a new part of my pain center outfit, and we were off. Come on now, you can't tell me that my evening bag doesn't scream fashionista, while sporting that uber attractive hospital gown (opening in the back please!), right??? Thought so....



Since my Erythromelalgia keeps me running hot all the time, I packed a real live Spark Goodie from a spark friend, and used it often before my sterile 'limo' cruised down the corridor to the procedure room.



I've decided that the next time I do this, that I will let them put me out. I didn't really think it would hurt that much, since I was used to the other nerve pain procedures via my back. Sometimes ignorance is bliss! The anesthesiologist kept asking me if I wanted the local, but I would just flash a ridiculous smile and decline. Maybe it was the gold bag...

Once everything was set up, with my head cupped in a strange salad bowl-like thing, and blue paper covering most of my face, doctor #1 turned on some Norah Jones, and started on my neck.
I felt like I was underneath a giant plastic coated metal spider while on that table. It was stressed often to me how important it was that I not move. So, I ended up whimpering a lot (yowsers it hurt!), but nope, I did not move. It felt like the two doctors were kneading pizza dough inside of my neck, and it was a bit noisy (yuck!). Once it was done, I felt like I had a smurf in my neck, and my voice was raspy. My neck was very tender later, so my DH was not able to get the pen marks off of my neck until the next day. He did get most of the iodine off though, so at least I didn't look like I had a strange encounter with a spray tan canister! The smurf and the rasp remained for a few days, but as of today, my voice is almost completely back.



My body may not be 100% anymore, but it is still amazing to see how much better I feel only 3 days later. Yay body!

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and well wishes. I know that all of the prayers and virtual hugs kept my spirits high. I'll be scheduling another vampire nibble in the next few weeks (hrrrumph!). While I am not particularly excited about it, I am eager to see if this helps lift some of the iron blanket of pain off of my world, even just long enough to officially take my gold formal purse out for a real meal with my husband.
I'm not picky. We could be eating chicken hot dogs and baked potatoes for all I care, but that silly formal bag is coming!


'Nuff Said
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v TRENTDREAMER
    "We all know that vampires don't shake hands, right? : ) "
    * No, now they perm and fuss with their hair, sparkle, and act all emo. They used to terrorize, bite, suck blood from and kill people. Now they are high-contrast "complicated" french poodles. I know this to be true (I almost turned into one back in late 2010.)

    - http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
    ublic_journal_individual.asp?bl
    og_id=3607586

    If you want a real vampire (or good facsimile thereof), I've got two words for you: "Fright Night"


    "I am extremely impatient, so this is a tough one for me. I lost a lot of the use of my right hand this past October, and it has been holding out for better things until now, I guess. "
    * As always, I really hope that things get good for you in this area.


    "Ladies, this question is for you. Don't we all have at least one fancy schmancy purse, meant to be brought somewhere wonderful like a nice dinner or to see a play?"
    * I think that's in chapter one or two of the Ladies Handbook. If not in the formal job description, it's implied in spirit. Stacey and Clinton would agree with you, either way.


    "Come on now, you can't tell me that my evening bag doesn't scream fashionista, while sporting that uber attractive hospital gown (opening in the back please!), right??? Thought so.... "
    * The bag is cute.


    "It felt like the two doctors were kneading pizza dough inside of my neck, and it was a bit noisy (yuck!). Once it was done, I felt like I had a smurf in my neck, "
    * Ouch!


    "The smurf and the rasp remained for a few days, but as of today, my voice is almost completely back. "
    * Hope for continued recovery.


    "My body may not be 100% anymore, but it is still amazing to see how much better I feel only 3 days later. Yay body! "
    * Yay indeed.

    "Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and well wishes. I know that all of the prayers and virtual hugs kept my spirits high. I'll be scheduling another vampire nibble in the next few weeks (hrrrumph!). While I am not particularly excited about it, I am eager to see if this helps lift some of the iron blanket of pain off of my world, even just long enough to officially take my gold formal purse out for a real meal with my husband. "
    * Sorry I haven't been there as much for you. Good use of "hrrrumph!" my Anglican ancestry is positively giddy, I'm sure. I hope for all that you look forward to.

    "We could be eating chicken hot dogs and baked potatoes for all I care, but that silly formal bag is coming! "
    * :D Graduatin' from Go U!

    1571 days ago
  • v SMBRYCE1
    you go! I'm all for the monkey slippers and whatever else feels right for the procedures you're going through. Maybe next vampire bite you would consider the local? Sounds like it might help it be a less difficult process. And then you can regale us all with descriptions of what it's like to have a numb neck
    1573 days ago
  • v TIME2BLOOM4ME
    emoticon
    1573 days ago
  • v CARRILU
    You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I hope you feel better. emoticon
    1574 days ago
  • v RYDERB
    Fancy sparkly bag, red lipstick, and monkey slippers!!! You're definitely a trend setter! We all would be lucky to have just a little of the grace, strength, and humor you use to face the world each day. Thank you for sharing. You reminded me again today, why you're my hero.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1574 days ago
  • v CLOVER2
    I love your purse! Ummm...it does look a bit like you and Edward Cullen had a one on one there, but I am so hoping that it works like you want it to!
    I don't know that I would be so brave, I'm the type who starts screaming for drugs and needles with oodles of novacaine when I do something as simple a walk into the dentist's office! Although you are one of the bravest people I have ever "met"! And funny, and beautiful, and smart....you got a lot of moxy, girl!
    Feel better soon, I'll be keeping you in my prayers!
    emoticon
    1574 days ago
  • v MISSB8604
    You are the greatest girl. I have no words for your courage.
    1575 days ago
  • v CTUPTON
    Praying for your comfort and peace. Love the fashionista statement purse! Chris
    1575 days ago
  • v SARASMILING
    Oh, I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm so sorry you were hurting. I hope the procedure works and you'll be feeling better soon.
    emoticon emoticon
    1575 days ago
  • v SUNFLOWER4ME
    You are so strong. You are so sweet in that sugar free, not feeling guilty kind of way emoticon . You are SUPER funny and have gift for writing. You are amazing, you are amazing, you are AMAZING. And you don't need that shiny purse to make yourself feel beautiful and important, but I absolutely LOVE that you brought it with you.

    Yay for your body, yay for YOU! I could not be happier that you are seeing some good results. Maybe the shiny purse is a 'goodness' magnet?! Maybe?

    emoticon
    1575 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/1/2012 5:42:33 AM
  • v CANNIE50
    I am so glad that Disneyland fan is helping! Wish I could take credit for the shiny purse. I think that purse is a fabulous addition to your "procedure" outfit (and you are so smart to have a "procedure" outfit based on trial and error). Honey, anesthesiologists are our friends, generally speaking. You look them in the eyes, tell them you know they are going to take really good care of you, and they do! I am thrilled that you are starting to have some benefits. No one over the age of 14 actually wears Axe, do they? Since my 8 year old wears it, as you know, I associate with the pre-pubescent set, not with people who are allowed to freely handle needles. Yikes! emoticon
    1576 days ago
  • v KAILYNSTAR
    You're right, ignorance is bliss. Only, next time an anethiesologist keeps asking you if you want something for the incurring pain...take the hint.

    You poor sweetheart of a girl. I wish I could be there to support you whole heartedly.

    Thank goodness that there is less pain for you.

    Thank goodness things worked out for you.

    Thank goodness I found you.

    You're in my thoughts. As for the purse...I don't have anything fancy like that. I never did. I would feel so self-conscious in a place where I would have to dress up like that.

    I prefer pulling up the floor and making myself at home.

    Have a good day.
    1576 days ago
  • v JCARDINAL
    I believe you should take any drugs they offer you!! Glad you're feeling a little relief. Can I borrow that shiny purse for one of my outings????
    1576 days ago
  • v GUITARWOMAN
    I so admire your positive attitude!

    You are an example to all of us.

    The purse definitely rocks, it has that je ne sais quois that make it qu'elle appropriate for any occasion :-).

    You go girl!


    emoticon
    1576 days ago
  • v SARAWALKS
    Great news, I'm so glad it went well and you are somewhat more free of pain! FAB PURSE! Keeping prayers going up that you will be enjoying it in the proper atmosphere without a gown open up the back!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I'm not sure I could have held still! I'd probably be such a nervous wreck from having to hold still that I would wiggle...
    GREAT JOB!
    1576 days ago
  • v LGAR519
    Love you and your purse. Hope the procedure works. What we don't do to help the pain!?!?!?
    1576 days ago
  • v BELLAMEMAW
    prayers going out your way, Pat
    1576 days ago
  • v AAAACK
    Hey, your left hand is looking really good! Is that your wedding ring you can wear again? And sheesh what a lot of alarming armbands! What was the risk one, I'm prying to know (like my stupid pun)? I hope also that you get awesome results even before you have to go for the next one so that you'll look forward to this one (a little) rather than dread it like this last one.
    1576 days ago
  • v 2WHEELEDSHARON
    You deserve an endless supply of flammable and shiny accessories and tools with fans attached to them. Hugs!
    1576 days ago
  • v OOLALA53
    Gold is the new black. It goes with everything. emoticon
    1577 days ago
  • v FINALLYBEINGME
    That clutch is completely fabulous and definitely needs to go with you to a place better than the hospital :).. emoticon I hope you see good results from the procedure *soon* - keeping everything crossed. emoticon
    1577 days ago
  • v MAMADWARF
    Only you Bren! Lol. Thank you for sharing what this was like for you and I am glad to see you used the fan Cannie gave you! I really hope this helps and I always say...TAKE THE DRUGS!!!!!! Hugs!
    1577 days ago
  • v SUNFLOWERSAVAGE
    I really hope you get to take that purse somewhere fun soon!
    I'm glad it went ok....other than the pain & gross noises.
    Was your vampire all sparkly like the Twilight vampires?

    emoticon
    1577 days ago
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