Sunday, April 29, 2012
I have fought my way here to the precipice of choosing a healthy lifestyle. Inside I'm fighting so hard to be able to make the choices that I need to make to maintain the healthy lifestyle that I have adopted. So what am I doing now? Sitting on my butt in my living room while we entertain company. Now don't get me wrong, I love company, and I would never deny my boyfriend the right to have his friends over... But I'm suffering right now, I'm suffocating. Inside I am dying to say, get off the airmatress, move it out of my way, get off the TV I am going to do one of my fitness videos.
Making the right choice, or wanting to make the right choice is not always the entire hurdle. How do we cope when these walls are placed in front of us? I mean, I do have an elliptical trainer in the bedroom, I could easily hop on it... but I don't want to. I enjoy doing my videos and right now that's what I want to do. I just realized how selfish that sounds.. but this journey is a selfish one, it is about me. I need to make these changes for myself.
I have already sacrificed part of my diet choices this weekend due to our entertaining and now I haven't worked out all weekend. I feel bored, and antsy, and aggrevated all at the same time. I need desperately to figure out how to deal when things like this happen. I'm determined not to let it set me off track, however I still want to have the freedom to "exercise" my choices, because they are good ones and I NEED to be able to do these things for myself. I don't have as much time as I would like to work out during the week and I look forward to the weekends to burn some extra calories. What do I do when it all gets turned around? I guess the easy answer is suck it up and go in the bedroom and get on the elliptical trainer. We just aren't good friends yet... no we are not.