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    WILDHONEYPIE1   39,184
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints

Where to start...

Sunday, April 29, 2012

I was reading a journal I started last summer, 7/4/11 to be exact. I weighed in at 212.6. We had taken the kids to an amusement park and I left feeling really embarrassed. Even though it was VERY hot, I wore longer pants and an elbow length shirt because I wasn't comfortable walking around in anything less. I was super embarrassed trying to squeeze onto some kiddie rides with my youngest and even wrote "its a good thing fat is squishy". I wanted to loose weight so I wouldn't feel that same way the next time we made the trip. But my last weigh in was 9/15/11 at 215.8 before my scale broke. And as of 12/30/11, my clothes were even tighter and my eating completely unhealthy. I had written all these great ideas down. I knew how to do this. But I couldn't find the motivation. Living longer, setting a healthier example, feeling personally better, wasn't doing it. I just wanted to avoid public humiliation. It didn't work for me.
I don't know what changed, but since 1/1/12 I have been consistently making healthier choices. Easter and my daughter's birthday came in the same weekend, and my eating was not within my calorie range, but it was tracked, and honestly. I've been good about tending my spark. I've reached out to old sparkfriends and added new. And somewhere along the way I found out I do want to live healthier because there is no guarantee of longer. I also noticed that when I stopped biting my finger nails, my youngest child stopped too. I have to own it now, my kids are influenced heavily by my habits both good and bad. That is motivation. I'm not so worried about what anyone else thinks. I'm sure this is aided by all the positive feed back I've been getting from people in my life, but it also comes from feeling better about myself and not feeling so fragile.
The thing that brought all this up is our planned trip to another amusement park, possibly this Friday if the weather is good. (shh, don't tell the kids they think they're all going to the dentist.) And I'm down to 184.5. A little past my halfway point and 28 lbs down from my last roller coaster ride.

Thank you all for sharing your journeys and mine. We will do this. emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SUE_2U 5/1/2012 9:49PM

    That is wonderful!
And inventive. "Hey, kids, don't forget your swim suit for the dentist's office... " Hehehe..
You really have rocked this. Spark on!

And thanks so much for the kind words on my blog.

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HDHAWK 5/1/2012 6:25PM

    Congratulations! Good progress!

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GIRANIMAL 5/1/2012 12:17PM

    When I first started working out, I didn't even own a pair of shorts -- not even ones for lounging around the house. So I know what you felt hiding underneath long pants and sleeves despite insanely hot weather.

But look at you now! I'll bet this year's amusement park trip will be a totally different experience. emoticon

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INFINITEJESS84 4/29/2012 9:18PM

    Condragularions! I am so glad for you. Your kids will be so thrilled for the treat. I hope everyone has a wonderful time.

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STARRDANCER1 4/29/2012 2:28PM

    What an honest post. I can relate. You are an inspiration. I'm still waiting to see what will actually "spark" me. I am making progress, but still very undisciplined.
Yo mama emoticon

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MAVERICK59 4/29/2012 2:06PM

    This was great to read!
Have fun at the 'dentist'!

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JSABRINA 4/29/2012 11:26AM

    I so empathize with your experiences! I too have been out in very hot weather in long clothes because I've been too embarrassed to show my body -- especially my arms. The tipping point for me came a few weeks ago when I couldn't close my jacket all the way, much less zip it! That's when I resolved that I would lose weight *now* rather than buy even bigger clothes.

You can do this! We can do it together!


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VALERIEMAHA 4/29/2012 11:06AM

    Such an inspiring story, dear heart! You.Are.DOING.IT!!! Slow and steady wins the race. Fun for the whole family, yeah.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BMW9295 4/29/2012 11:06AM

    Good for you..... keep up the great work. I am not sure what your exercise it like but I have just started the Official Spring Into Shape Bootcamp Challenge..... I am hoping to jumpstart myself.... hope to see you around. All the luck to you on your journey

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CHEFMOM1199 4/29/2012 11:01AM

  Awesome inspirational post! Thank you for sharing your journey.

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