Sunday, April 29, 2012
200.6 this morning. Really body? Iím sure if I had gone pee before I hopped on the scale it would have been below 200! Oh well, itís not my official weigh in day and I know it is not going to be long until I am there. Itís nice to be back in spitting distance of that magic line!!!
I was just thinking about how long itís been since I have been significantly below it. Must have been spring 2007 that I last weighed in the 190ís for any amount of time. 192 for a while and then my life exploded. And I ballooned back up to the 240ís. That was pretty. Real pretty. I donít ever want to do that again! I have been miserable ever since. Things are changing for me now Ė in so many ways. Itís time to take it to the next level and break through that 192 barrier that I hit last time.
The nice thing about my journey now is that Iíve learned how to manage my stress. Iíve learned that yoga and walks and constant check-ins on Spark keep me sane. With the help of phentermine, Iíve now been learning about portion sizes and just how much food my body needs to feel full. With the help of the nutritionist, Iím learning what foods fill me up and Iím learning how to make sure I keep myself well fueled. Iím learning that I can splurge and have what I want as long as I make sure that I keep my calories within reason. It means one piece of my favorite Pasquiniís pizza and a delicious salad, not three pieces of pizza, bread sticks and an antipasto platter.
Life is about change. Itís about evolving and learning and growing.
And what would a blog post from me be without some news from Montana? Yesterday my teacher license application arrived which means, you guessed it, this girl is going to move to Montana. Most likely, year from now, I will be packing and getting ready to move! I havenít really told a lot of people Ė and of course it is still a little tentative (I do have to find a job if I want to move!). Yes, Mr. Montana is involved. No I am not moving in with him. He has a whole lot of work to do before I open that door wide for him again! However, I think he has finally figured out what he wants in life. And I have finally figured out that if you want men to do something, you damn well better let them think it was entirely their idea. He went from not wanting me in Montana to offering to move me to his hometown. Go figure! Needless to say, my friends arenít very happy with it. Mostly because theyíve seen me cry because of this man and they donít want me to get hurt. Maybe he will hurt me again. I think heís actually ready for more now. I wish I could explain it Ė but honestly it all sounds a little ridiculous when I try. I do know this, to me this is a risk worth taking.
Am I crazy? Probably. I guess it comes down to this - I'd rather try than live the rest of my life wondering if I had made the biggest mistake ever. Worst case scenario? I enjoy Montana for a while, meet some new people, get to teach in a rural school. Best case scenario? I enjoy Montana, meet some new people, get to teach in a rural school, and learn a lot about wheat.
So thatís all of my news for now!