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My childhood prayer answered

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I would have to write a book to relate to you the feelings of the situation I grew up in. My dad was very depressed growing up. He sat in the dark. He had a short stay in a mental hospital. He visited therapists. I saw him in a fetal position in his room crying. My mom suffered so much. She spent so much time caring for my brother and I and trying to take care of dad. Me with my Epilepsy and other physical ailments, my brother with his many emergency room visits, dad with his many health problems, and mom with more stress than she could handle and some runs to the hospital for her own health problems. When she married, she found out that she married into a sad situation. I have grown up watching her care for my dad more as if she was his mother than his wife. They didn't kiss, hug, or hold hands. My dad didn't express love in any way to me, my brother, or my mom. The house was full of tension all the time. Outings were most always ruined by my dad's mental state. Mom tried so hard bless her heart. I couldn't even understand what she went through until I grew up myself and was married. She has stayed with my dad all these years and stood by him and took care of him. She has thought about divorce when he became angry, although the stress became great, he never touched her. She always came back to the same thought though. Who will take care of him Eliabeth. She knew his own family wouldn't and that she is the only one that would truly care for him with love. Since I was old enough to understand prayer, I've been praying that God would heal my dad's mind. At one point I prayed, Lord please just take him when he's good. I went through a point when I prayed for the Lord to please take him and spare my mom's suffering.
Our life today is nothing short of a miracle! My dad says I love you all the time. He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. Him and mom love to talk with each other. He sits on the edge of her bed each morning and talks to her. They don't fight anymore. They laugh. Dad is a new man. There is such peace in their house. Today we had a wonderful day and I actually saw my mom holding my dad's hand. If I weren't in public, I would have burst into tears, but the river flowed inside. They are falling in love with each other all over again. Well I don't even know if that is an accurate statement, because this time is so different. Its like a flower blooming in the desert. Its amazing. My heart is singing! Not only that but dad has lost 56lbs and he is out and about walking, weed eating, mowing, leading church services, walking into restaurants with us (all in moderate pace, but he is doing it). He lived in his room forever, not moving, not able to think. I made them dinner yesterday and he actually called and thanked me with the sweetest voice ever. I am overjoyed at the life that God has given us. My boys are doing wonderful. They are blossoming under this new life. I have finally taken control of my anxiety and depression and I'm making a new life full of laughs and smiles. Mom is a 5 year Leukemia survivor and she is keeping house and out doing things with me. I don't know if I have ever been happier. To beat it all, we spent a lot of time with my ex husband today. He came to see one of our ds perform in the choir and band for the Spring concert and he sat right there in the middle of us all and then stopped by our church, the one he used to attend with me, and fixed up the drumset for our ds. then he took the boys out to eat and we met him to bring the boys back home and we all just sat there and talked forever. It as a beautiful day! Thank you Lord! My heart is overwhelmed! Jehovah-Jireh, my provider! Jehovah-Ropha, God my Healer, Jehovah-Shalom, God is my Peace!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks Kadulac and Dolphin!
    2149 days ago
    Praise God! So happy for your family!
    2149 days ago
    Such a wonderful answer to prayers. You are an amazing woman.
    2150 days ago
    Thanks to each of you and to Knittingnan and Suzie let me try to answer some of your questions. I have dealth with depression for a long time myself and a lot of it is genetics I think because my brother suffers as well. The difference for him is that he won't accept it and get help. For me, it was a matter of conquering things head on instead of staying in the corner. Through many emergency room runs for what was thought to be a heart attack, a stroke, or even epilepsy, I finally got to sit down one day with a neurologist who explained to me the essence of a panic attack and what it does to your body. She said that when we panic that we hold in too much carbon dioxide and don't take in enough oxygen, so therefore I have heart attack symptoms and stroke symptoms. I even went through a phase where I couldn't talk or move when I went into a panic attack. Carbon Dioxide poisons your system. I know, you asked about depression, but for me they are hand in hand and with that information came power. I realized that I had power over my mind. Depression and Anxiety hold no power, it is you that have the power to choose to recognize, walk quickly through the symptoms, and get back up with a smile. I used to fight it and hate myself for it, like it was a weakness. I hated being weak. On the contrary though, I found that I am stronger than I imagined. Most people that suffer with depression and anxiety are stronger than others out there. So I started analyzing what made me depressed and anxious, I mentally inventoried the beginning symptoms, and I found the things that make me bounce out of it quickly, such as, opening blinds, taking a short walk outside, talking to certain people, certain foods I eat, breathing deep cleansing breaths, exercise, turning on music, and most importantly for me is prayer and reading the bible. God has healed our family. He has woken us up from a great sleep. My children suffer from anxiety and I feel that God has helped me to use my knowledge to help them walk through theirs and also to help my dad work through his. Now I do take meds. Celexa has been incredibly helpful, but my dose has been cut in half now. It is the first depression med that didn't wear me out and make me feel numb and it is what dad takes as well. My divorce wasn't from the depression. My husband dove into a sinful life of pornography to be very blunt with you and he became abusive. He hurt my son when he was 3 1/2 while I was in the hospital after having another baby boy. It was the one time when I wasn't there to keep my ds out of his daddy's way and keep an eye on things. Trust me I would not have got pregnant if I knew he was going to be bad again. I got pregnant through a very sunshiny time of our life when I thought he was truly better. He went through cycles that took me a while to recognize. He trapped me with the cycles, promises, and manipulation, but I eventually broke free. He and I are great friends now and he is a good dad when he has the boys, but it was difficult times and I had to get out for me and my boys. We are doing wonderful! I'm sorry to be so long, but it is hard to explain in a few words. Now I did get a program that I spent some time with that I think it absolutely wonderful if you can get your hands on a copy. It is called the Midwest Center for Anxiety and Depression Disorder. I couldn't afford it, but they cut the price in half for me and arranged payments. It has been a process for us, but without God we wouldn't be where we are today. There is freedom in the Lord, through His word, through prayer, and through going to church and listening to God's word and singing praises to Him! God is good all the time!
    2150 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/28/2012 11:41:58 AM
    Wow!! My eyes welled up reading this blog. I am so happy for you and your family!!!

    Praise be to God Whom all blessings flow!

    2150 days ago
    Wow..after reading the first part of your blog, I felt such joy as you described the fantastic turnaround of your parents relationship with each other and with you. How did your dad overcome such deep depression..I too have suffered from depression in the past but I am better now and working hard to stay that way. May God continue to bless you and your parents.
    2150 days ago
    bless you and your family . prayers are answered sometime . sometimes we do not recognize them as answered but they truly are every time . keep praying . your family stays healed .
    2150 days ago
  • LORTHOM2001
    wooooow,thx 4 posting. best to you
    2150 days ago
    I'm so happy for you! Jesus came to set the captives free and your family is a living testimony of that saving grace! May you continue to grow in the love and knowledge of the Lord and experience the victory that He purchased for you on the Cross!

    All praise be to God for the great things He has done in your lives!

    2150 days ago
    With God all things are possible if we have faith and trust in him and him alone. God can change hearts and minds once they accept his free gift of salvation through Christ jesus.
    I am glad you are in a happier place now and i hope with each passing day you can feel the full measure of the love God has for you and as you walk with him trust he will bless you in all you do.
    2150 days ago
    Thank you for such an uplifting blog with a message of hope. How did your Dad overcome such deep depression? How did you conquer your own depression, and was your depression responsible for your divorce? Our family is experiencing this at the moment and I just cannot believe that it will improve. I feel there is no hope for a happy future, but after reading your blog, maybe things will get better.
    2151 days ago
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