I've been SO off the rails, eating-wise, this week. I have the best intention and then crazy work lunches, fights with my husband, tantrums from the toddler, etc... have just all crept in and told my brain, "It's ok, you deserve this XYZ treat. It'll make you feel better."
I've been telling myself that I'm going to pick back up on the Cleanse for REAL starting May 1st and do it for the 31 days of May. But last night, I started reading "Crazy Sexy Diet" by Kris Carr, which is really motivating for me. And I decided that there's no reason to put it off and allow myself to eat crap like Ding Dongs or Girl Scout Cookies until next Tuesday. JUST START NOW. So, I had a smoothie for dinner last night and then another one this morning and then for lunch, I made myself steamed broccoli with lentils and brown rice which was DELICIOUS. (My husband, who is working from home today walked in and said, "YUMMM...healthy stinkfest!". I have to figure out a way to cook broccoli so that it doesn't stink up the house!
Anyway, as I was devouring the tasty lunch I'd made, I started thinking, "Why am I not content to eat like this all the time?" It's yummy, filling and makes me feel GREAT about myself instead of beating myself up CONSTANTLY about my constant failures. I am still working on this, through the help of my therapist and hopefully with my nutritionist when she's back from vacation.
Last, you know how they say, "Do one thing a day/week that scares you"? Well, today I went to another 1/2 spin, 1/2 circuit training class (the same one I went to on Monday where I was the biggest girl in the room). Yet again, I was the biggest, but today I was just fine with it. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "You look better than you did three months ago, so keep going!" Anyway, the scary part is that the 2nd half hour we had to get on the brand-new TRX equipment that they just got. It basically looks like a torture game with ropes and stirrups and is the kind of thing that you look really hot on when you've got great muscle definition and can do everything they want you to. When you haven't been doing any muscle training, just cardio from spinning, you swing around wildly and shake like an earthquake. BUT, I just put on my smiley face, laughed at myself when I looked dumb and said, 'HEY, YOU'RE DOING THIS VERY TOUGH KIND OF EXERCISE AND BUILDING YOURSELF UP!" I know that next time it'll be just a teeny bit easier, and then the time after that and the time after that. I have four months to get my a$$ in gear for pregnancy and I'm DETERMINED to be in better shape than I was for the last one.
Here's to a weekend full of activity, green smoothies and running around outdoors in the sunshine with the tot.