So, I've had food "issues" pretty much forever. But a few years ago, I had some life/health issues put a whole new twist on things. My family went through a very traumatic time, all while I was working full-time and pursuing a PhD full-time - one way or another, it was bound to take its toll. My unhealthy behaviors were pretty maxed out, and I was at the upper end of my weight range once again. I knew if I was to survive physically AND mentally, that I needed to make some changes. I started eating better and working out with friends, but then things took a turn for the worse. I got very sick. Hemorrhaging and horrible pain kind of sick. Apparently the mountain of stress triggered very acute symptoms of latent Crohn's disease.

I'll edit out all of the big ball of crazy that I went through trying to get that part of my health under control and skip to the part where I've been in remission for over a year now with the help of meds and some lifestyle changes. For some reason, I'm also one (and apparently there are many others) that developed a severe gluten intolerance that probably had been around, but manifested at its worst with the big Crohn's flare. I still have to stay strictly off gluten because the symptoms are unpleasant and can trigger a flare.

All of this is just background; context. As I started out with - I've ALWAYS had food issues. But this big round of 'stuff' changed that. At my most unwell, I had to find anything that was appetizing. For the first time in decades, I was eating sausage without guilt because I was losing weight and it was about the only thing that tasted good. When I finally started feeling better, I felt sorry for myself that I couldn't eat wheat/gluten, so I started finding starches that might satisfy that craving. I got into the habit of night-time cereal eating. Chocolate Chex being the worst offender.

Now I'm at a cross-roads of past and present, addictive behaviors meet healthy choices. It's hard, but it is time to cut this s#*t out. So one of the choices I'm making is to STOP the night-time eating. Also, recognizing some of the mental motivations behind my current unhealthy eating patterns means I've got to move forward and nourish my body in more appropriate ways. Night-time eating is first though.

RIP evening Chex. You will be missed. At least for a short time...