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    BETHJD   1,082
1,000-2,499 SparkPoints

Fighting alone.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I've never had a large group of friends because I hate the politics of groups but my 2 best friends moved away and my ex took our close friends when we broke up so I've found myself alone a lot lately. I like being alone but it is difficult to bear when there is no other option.

I also know that I am alone because I am not a happy fat person. In the movies, the fat girl is the funny one, the smartass who everyone likes to be around but that just isn't me. Being fat hasn't inspired me to be hilarious or the life of the party - it has forced me to retreat into myself. I find that most people don't really like me because being fat has made me mean and miserable.

I don't want to be mean and miserable! It is time for a change and I'll have to find the strength to get there for me and on my own.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JUDYHELP 4/26/2012 12:10PM

  emoticon we all have felt this way one time or another. You need not beat yourself up so bad. You need to remember no matter what stage you are at you are YOUR WORTH EVERY OUNCE. When you have a minute write down all the good things about yourself, you will be surprised you'll have more good than bad. Talking with sparkpeople you will never be alone. We all are here to help each other through our hard times. emoticon emoticon Judy

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BELLACAIO 4/26/2012 11:54AM

    I image most of us have felt these feelings at some point. I know I have. Nothing had really begun to work for me until I stopped being so hard on myself emotionally. I know you can be where you want to be. And no one is ever alone on Spark! emoticon

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