Today I decided that I was going to take a picture of myself (it's been a long time) and I was going to upload it and use it as my profile picture. I don't think there has been a picture of me uploaded since I had Evan 3 1/2 years ago.

Well it started out that Evan was what my friends here at SP were interested in. I spent my whole pregnancy active and tracking at SP. He is a true Sparkbaby.

Then I started to gain the weight back when I suspected Evan was autistic and when he was diagnosed I REALLY gained weight rapidly. On top of Evan's diagnosis, I miscarried 2 babies in a matter of a few months. I fell into this dark hole and I ate every emotion I had. Evidently I had A LOT of emotions, because I ate until I had gained back all but 11# of the 123# I had lost.

I finally trusted that the Lord was not punishing me nor was He giving Evan a miserable life. The Lord blessed me with this AMAZINGLY smart, happy, sweeter than sweet little boy. He is a joy. Now it is my job to help him grow into an amazing man. I can't do that if I am unhealthy. The Lord trusted me w/ this boy and the first thing I have to do is to do what I know I should be doing.

While I didn't want to EVER post a picture of me heavier than my last picture; in fact, I sobbed after I put it up, I am DOING something. I'm heading in the right direction....

This is me today... I am down 51# from the first of the year. My goal for 2012 is to lose those 112# that I gained back. 61# to go...

Wish me luck...