Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Well, I read an article today that led me to this site and my first thought was, this is it. No more excuses. 1) It's free. 2) What's to lose? Now there's a loaded question! What's to lose? Initially my thought was it can't hurt to give this site a go and see if it helps me to lose weight. I'm not doing much on my own. But then another way to look at it -- What's to lose: pounds, despair, self loathing, anger, denial, bad habits, more pounds, etc. This list could go on and on. I am almost 35. I have a wonderful husband who knew me back when. Back when I was a teenager, back when I lived life to the fullest, back when I felt beautiful. Back when I was at a healthy weight, back when I was able to go upstairs without getting out of breath. Back when I could bend over to tie my shoe without wheezing. Back when I could ride a bike. Back when I would run for fun. Back when getting off the couch wasn't a chore. Back when I didn't fear my future heath. My husband still sees me as I was back when. For that I am so grateful. Here's the thing though. I have three beautiful daughters all prepubescent and they see me now. So far they see mommy as beautiful. They haven't been tainted by media and social expectations of what beautiful is perceived as in this culture. But, they do see that mommy has a struggle to go upstairs, tie her shoes, ride a bike, or run. I want to be active with my kids. I want them to not grow up hearing me grumble about how I look or feel in reference to my weight. And even though I try to keep those from them and only voice those things to my husband, it's going to bubble over. They're going to overhear me. They're going to figure it out. And let's face it. My husband does love me as I am and he hates to hear me when I am in a cycle of self loathing. I want my girls to look to me for an example of healthy living. So what's to lose? Perhaps a better question would be, "What's to gain?"
*LORD, I pray that today would be the day that I end this vicious cycle in my life. That today would be the day that I start living my life with my future health and that of my family in mind. That I would treat this body as the temple you have declared it to be and that I would glorify you in the process. I thank you, Father, that you have allowed me the life that I have now and the blessings I enjoy through you, my family, and friends. Amen.*