Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I've decided I have a sugar addiction! It probably sounds silly/crazy to some, but I get physically excited when I think about sweet treats. Then I over-dose on them and feel sick. And despite that, I still go back for more when the opportunity presents itself.
I noticed after 3 weekends of family gatherings and over-eating and over-indulging my sweet tooth, I felt so yukcy on Monday, then cut out most carbs and all sweets that day, then felt better on Tuesday. And one week I really tried to avoid all sugary treats and felt the best. You'd think that'd be motivation enough for me to just cut out all treats, but no! I just love'em.
I can remember being more picky about my treats - I didn't care for jelly-type ones (jelly beans, gummy bears, fruit-shaped candy, etc.), I only liked chocolate ones, and Skittles or Starbursts. But now if it's got sugar in it or on it, I want it!
I can go on a total binge if the candy is available - like after Easter. I can start feeling sick while I'm eating it, but still keep reaching for more.
So, I decided to join this challenge to see if it can help me break this nasty habit, help me learn new strategies for dealing with the cravings, and see if I can get my sugar habit in control. I hate the thought of nixing all treats out of my life forever - I love birthday cake and ice cream, and the desserts are my favorite part of family gathering meals. But, I would be willing to go that route if that's what it took to help me stop craving and binging on sugary stuff! But I honestly hope it doesn't come to that!
Today, already, I noshed on some cookies in the break room right away this morning - practically stuffing them in quickly so I could try each one before I had to get back in my room! It was first thing in the morning, and I was hungry - breakfast was a half hour away. Then, after eating a good lunch of a big salad with chicken and adding in lots of cooked veggies from the lunch offered here, as I was packing up some leftover breakfast foods to take home to my kids, I gulped down 2 mini pancakes - totally unnecessary! I've been dreaming of eating a kiss or two of dark chocolate I have stashed in my cupboard, or maybe a piece of hard candy would do. But I feel full physically, so there shouldn't be any reason other than it just feels good to have a treat during naptime. Like I deserve a reward or something.
Just writing this down strengthens my resolve to leave the candy alone! I'm glad I should be able to get out for a walk during my break - even though I mostly ate healthy foods for lunch, I feel nervous when I "feel full" - like maybe I overate or something. But then it seems like I get so hungry at certain times, no matter if I eat a lot or less at mealtimes! At this moment, I'm hoping that I feel just satisfied the rest of the day, so I can avoid caving in to cravings later.