Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Things are getting easier... I've been balancing four things against each other lately, in the desperate hope that I can FINALLY be the person I want to be.
First is strength - not just physical but also mental toughness. I try and challenge myself every day.
Then there's speed, which is both about running and about being as efficient as possible in life in order to give myself time to get everything done, and feeding myself well so I have the energy.
Then there's creativity and magic. Thinking along new lines and being playful and free-spirited, as well as more accepting of my own oddities.
Finally there's that old "love n acceptance" which I have always turned my nose up, but it turns out that when I don't love and accept myself there is a strange pit in my stomach that I've been filling with food. So I'm trying to lose that by being more kind and gentle to myself, and continuing to attempt to learn self-esteem. Here's an interesting thought: to build self esteem, do estimable things.
These have been helping me and I'm almost at my lowest ever weight right now... and goal weight is approaching and barring catastrophe I will hit it in a month - it's only been three years after all!