Monday, April 23, 2012
Good Monday! Well, up here it's rainy and cold and Monday - pretty much the perfect start for the week. I say this because it means Friday will be nice! Which is essential since I have my second 5K on Sunday! I ran one Friday and my time was 27:15, pretty impressive for my first race. To me it means that I am a competitor and I'm actually kind of good at this which is nice since I've got two more races this year!
But onto more serious matters. I've been feeling extremely off balance. And this morning as I was dong my yoga I was wonder why this is so. And how do I get my balance back? I've been training pretty hard so I suppose my body is little more fatigued. However, I would like to think I eat well. BUT, I also know I've been increasing my calories to the point where I work out, burn it off and just eat it again. And this is not somewhere I want to be. I work hard and I want the body of the athlete I am. And I know the eating is because I'm stressed. So, how do I change this behavior? Essentially I just need to stop eating emotionally. But, what do I do instead? Am I tired and therefore should make an effort to get a lot of extra sleep this week? I already exercise to release stress, so that's out. I suppose maybe making an effort to make a journal entry and 30 min of leisure reading. OK - I think that sounds like a plan I haven't tried yet.
Every night this week I will go to bed at 9:00 p.m. Write a journal entry about my day, emphasizing emotional stresses and how they made me feel and how to deal with them, and then I will read for 30 min. from a book that has nothing to do with school.
My a.m. yoga is an important part of my day. It allows me to warm up my body after the crazy workouts I've been doing. I also need to acknowledge that this is my last week of serious training. Monday next week starts a new workout program for the month of May. One that is a little less intense. So, I just need to push myself through this last bit of work and then next week I will be tapering.
I suppose other than that life is OK. My ex and I talked on the phone last night and that was stressful. lol I guess in general I am just stressed! And I am taking it out on food.
With awareness comes power. I am aware of my behavior and now need to work to correct it.
I am not perfect, and I do not want to be. Being perfect is not interesting. It's important to remember this because I often feel that I try very hard to be perfect just to lose it all in a "gray area" when I think everything is just "black and white".