Monday, April 23, 2012
Today is the 5th day of my 1400 calorie diet. That stupid voice in my head which always discouraged me is no longer there. That voice which used to say, "Let's see if you'll survive this" is not there anymore. Maybe it's around. But I just don't hear it much now.
I hear a much more loving, gentle and caring voice that says "You can do it. I'm with you. You're worth it." On the first 2 days of the diet, I was having a horrible headache. I think it was also partly because I had cut out my regular coffee and tea as well as I didn't want to "waste" calories. When I was having the throbbing pain in my head, the loving voice said "You don't have to suffer through this. You can take a fruit, 2 panadols and go to bed." And so I did that. Now it's been 5 days and I'm off caffeine.
Being harsh with ourselves really doesn't help. Now that I'm being loved by myself, I feel much stronger. I feel more positive. As if there's a 'support system' behind me. I've learned to modify my diet and play around with the calories.
I'm forgiving myself for now. Because, I've been wanting biscuits instead of fruits. I eat a mostly healthy meal for lunch and dinner. But when it comes to snaking, I seem to want biscuits and not the fruits. I crave to munch on the sweet treat. I'm not going to judge myself. I'm going to forgive myself and tell myself it's ok to have them as long as I stay within the calorie range for the day.
My bowels are much more regular now. And I already see some changes in my body.
Signly off lovingly,