So, not gonna lie, my goals have been thrown by the wayside recently, and my weight has reflected that. I did really well last summer after I joined, and I was very proud of my progress. Sure, I had some setbacks, but I took them in stride and learned from them. Then school started back up again in September, and I kind of lost it. Started off "okay", but didn't have the "time" to track my eating, and that was a mistake. I began physical therapy for my back condition - which was a GOOD thing. The only problem was is that resulted in me buying junk food as a "reward" for myself, because I live in the middle of nowhere and had to drive 45 minutes for my physical therapy and they have my absolute favorite convenience store there that I don't have where I live. Wow was that bad...I kind of don't even want to think about that. lol Then I went home for Christmas. REAL FOOD! I'm a poor college student, and all of a sudden I had not only holiday treats, but real food my mom cooks. So, I go back to school after the holiday - realize "I gotta change" and get back on track for a few weeks. Then I fall off that wagon...AGAIN! Between stress eating and "social eating" (eating at unhealthy places because that's where I go to hang out with my friends) I have gained back every single pound I have lost while on Spark People and that is just not okay. While it is not okay, I still can change - I have to change. Otherwise I have to buy a new $70 choir dress because mine is on the very brink of being too small because I weigh 25 lbs more now than when I got it. I'm embarrassed to wear it. The good news is - I have the power to change.
I have literally been sick since the 4th of April - first with a cold, then with bronchitis, and now with walking pneumonia. I have felt like crap this entire time, and my eating has followed suit. I'm becoming restless - just wanting to do something - anything - because when I do, I start feeling sicker. That's okay though - I can still track my eating, and when I can exercise again, I will.
I'm going to be taking a class during the May term, but I've decided to take an easy 1 credit class (that I have to do anyway) to give me some time to rest to get better, instead of a more intense 3 credit class (biology). I'm hoping that this time of relative R & R will allow me some time to really mentally regain focus and get my footing again so that I can add the challenges back in, hopefully successfully this time.
Oh so the other parts - I was a music major, but I decided about a month ago that it wasn't the right thing for me, so I changed my major to liberal arts, with my primary emphasis in philosophy and also history and english. This week I found out that I have to stay another year, because yeah - I failed French, which added another year to my graduation. It would in theory possible for me to work really hard over the summer and test into French 3 instead of retaking French 2 next spring, but I decided to add the year. But guess what - I'm NOT sad about it, in fact I am really excited. I originally was going to be graduating from the school in 3 years, but my scholarships are available to me for 4 years. Yes, it will still cost me extra money, but I only get to be in undergrad once! Plus, the 3 year graduation was complete with a schedule that would "kill me", so I'm glad I can take some time to stop and smell the roses a little bit. I'm also adding a 2nd major (kind of), and making a full out 2nd major in philosophy - which is good, because the classes I take in philosophy will count towards both majors. I will have to take more than I would have to without the 2nd major, but it won't be as much extra work as it may sound. Also, I would have been 1 class away from completing a music minor, but because I'll be here an extra year, I've decided to finish it.
So, bottom line - I'm happy! I'm excited! I have some great things on my horizon. I had my original goal (as of May of last year) to lose 100 lbs by my graduation date (originally end of April of 2013.) So I've had a rough past year, so I decided to move it back WITH my graduation date - 100 lbs by the end of April in 2014. Much more realistic for me where I'm at now.
I can do this - not without set backs, but I can do this. I'm going to learn from my past mistakes, and move forward.