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    CELIAMINER   204,051
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints

Bye-bye mind clutter...the forgiveness project continues

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I've read some very insightful blogs this morning that have me thinking about all the things I do...and do...and do...that save me from having to look inside myself at ugly things I've done or said in the past. If anyone watches GCB, I feel like Amanda. I think of the mean things I said or did when I was younger and wonder how many people still smart from my words or actions. I recall at a high school reunion a classmate coming up to me and making a nasty remark about how I treated him as a teenager, and it made me feel guilty that I not only didn't remember treating him badly, but that he had carried that sting around with him for two decades. It's incidents like that one that I am pulling out to examine in my effort to cultivate forgiveness.

The insight I am gaining is that I can get past the guilt arising from not being perfect. I can cut myself some slack. One of my favorite upbeat songs is Karen Drucker's "Lighten Up" from her "Power of Women" CD. The song has a swinging melody and is easy to sing along to when I'm stuck in traffic, and my favorite line is, "I'm just gonna get out of my own way." That's what I am trying to do this year...make myself get out of the way of looking at my own past. The process has been both emotional and healing as I take memories of actions and words out of their dusty recesses and examine them in the light. I let myself react and feel the guilt if I need to. Then I mentally ask the person to forgive me and forgive myself as well. Sometimes I have to repeat the process, because the feelings are too intense to let go of right away, but it is so freeing to release the mind clutter.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CANDOK1260 4/29/2012 1:33PM

    I am one of those person who were pick on for years growing up. I can honestly say I forgave everyone years ago, So don't feel so bad you were a kid.s! Congratulations on your 2,000 fitness min

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BLUEBIRDSFLY 4/23/2012 10:19PM

    Its so wonderful to see that now that you have let go of the pounds you are continuing to let go of things that way your spirit down. Good for you, Celia--takes a lot of inner strength and honesty to do this kind of housecleaning.
emoticon emoticon

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IMLEENEY 4/22/2012 9:28PM

    Isn't it interesting how, when we lose weight, it unearths all of this stuff that we probably ate to cover over in our shame. Good for you for confronting it head on. Forgiveness is the key.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 4/22/2012 5:35PM

  Way to go, sometimes healing from the inside out is what is needed than the outside in!! awesome

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MARYHOLMAN 4/22/2012 5:13PM

    You won't believe how good you will feel when you can let go anger held close to your heart!


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POINDEXTRA 4/22/2012 3:16PM

    Wow - this is powerful stuff. I, too, realized recently that I was still carrying a lot of guilt for some past transgressions (which are very old, and from which I've completely changed my behavior). I realized as well that I really needed to forgive myself.

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PINKNFITCARLA 4/22/2012 1:16PM

    Great insightful blog Celia!

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2WHEELEDSHARON 4/22/2012 1:12PM

    What a wonderful Earth Day challenge! Thanks for sharing this blog, I can always use reminders to lighten the path in front of me with acceptance. Enjoy your day!

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DNJEN471 4/22/2012 12:45PM

    Very insightful blog! Thank you! We all seem to carry baggage around so it's always good to free up the clutter :)

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