People Pleasing Killed Me this Week
Sunday, April 22, 2012
This week wasn't as good as I would have liked. I continued to exercise this week but went back into my normal routine. Yes, I'm a people pleaser. I've notice that no one is in a hurry unless they need something from you. Let that be in reverse and they take their time. This type of behavior for overeaters can stress you out so much that you want to eat. Wanting to get it done right now can be a recipe for disaster. I should know. This week was a killer. Monday and Tuesday was great. Wednesday until Saturday was a killer. I didn't eat as scheduled because I forgot. Then when I did get hungry I wasn't in a place where I could eat. By Thursday night, I was determined that I needed to fix this but had no other healthy options.
People look at you funny when you tell them you have to eat, especially when you are already 60 pounds over weight. I had a friend that I promised I would help out. The time I had scheduled for her was only for 30 minutes. Of course, it went from 30 minutes to 2 hours. She told me, "Girl, you are always eating. That is why your fat." Of course we are no longer friends. Looking back at that comment I didn't think that it effected me, but it did. I stopped eating when out when with clients and friends. I figured that they were thinking it but not saying it. So when I got home I would binge. So what is the plan? I bought plenty of meal replacements that you can drink. People don't seem to mind seeing you drinking but they do mind you eating.
The challenges of weight loss.....
When I get through this. I will be the master of weight loss.
Is anyone else having the same problem?
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Mostly people want me to eat - and drink. Socializing is very hard. I find I avoid people, and least I had been. Lately, I have pretty much put myself first, just said a firm no when need - and I've been surprised how it is working!
You may have to try that - "no" - in your situation.
We overcome each of these struggles one at a time. Celebrate each and every one, each one is a great win!
And, I am more and more subscribing to the belief that I do not have to explain myself. It's a hard habit to break - we all want to be liked, accepted, and so we try to explain what we are trying to do, or we try to do what we think others will approve of. Well, I used to be so much like that, not as much anymore. Doesn't mean I am rude - we don't have to be rude, just firm. And, mostly, we need to think the best of ourselves RIGHT NOW, BEFORE WE REACH OUR GOALS - If we think we are good the way we are, we can accomplish anything!.
It's a hard challenge to lose weight - you are doing great by blogging and not giving up. I have tried 100's of times, and I think finally I have the right attitude and stamina and willpower (yes it does take will power, don't let anyone kid you!) to make it this time. You can do it to!!
1588 days ago
I have a few people in the broader family who are people pleasers. I never understood why they need to please others. That kind of behavior does not produce good results, even if socially they tend to have more people around them, most of them don't really respect the people pleaser, all they want usually is to use the people pleaser for some purpose. This is so obvious, yet they still remain as people pleasers...
Relating to people looking at strangely when you told them you need to eat, once I wanted to reschedule a meeting because at that time I wanted to eat. People could not believe their ears. I was serious, but they did not get it until I explained them if I don't I will end up eating too much later. Then they seemed to understand, but some of them were still advising me against logging my food intake because it would be addictive etc...
Anyway, hope the fat loss journey works out better for you in the future.
1591 days ago
It's OKAY to put yourself and your health first! When those people who are glancing your way or saying unkind things go home; do you think that they're still thinking about what you ate in front of them? NO, of course not, but you're left feeling guilty and self conscious about it.
If they ask about frequent meals during the day tell them you need to keep your blood sugar balanced right now.
Don't give your power away! There are plenty of people who "feed" off other peoples insecurities to make themselves feel better. Don't feed the "vampires". Lol!
1591 days ago
You are preaching to the choir! at the beginning of my journey it was difficult to put myself first. As my daughter was diagnosed with Cancer last year with a 2 week old baby, my time was spent on her recovery. After she went into remission, I realized how precious my life is. I started Spark People and began my journey. It was difficult at times but worth it. You are important! treat yourself as you do others and you will flourish!
1591 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
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