Friday, April 20, 2012
I have to face the awful reality of buying new clothes in a bigger size. I hate it. I have already had to buy XXL T-shirts to hang around the house in..I remember the day I was so happy to throw my old ones away. Nothing fits me, I have to change my clothes several times in the am because I do not like the tightness of the clothes and I can not look unproffesional when I go to work. The treats that come into work, still living with my parents and not having a regular relationship with my Husband are still plauging me. Although we are working on our relationship and I believe it is improving and we will reconcile, the big question still remains---"when"?
I want to every day start anew and I have so much desire but the desire isn't doing the work. When I was most sucessful in weigh loss, healthy eating and overall health...I did not work full time...so I had more time to plan and exercise and get everything done. I know work all day and get out at 6pm...I do not sleep well at night and by that time I am so exhausted the gym is the last place I wanna go.
I realize I am making a TON of excuses...I can not find my energy, or strength...it just isn't there. I don't know what to do.
I know I need to just DO IT!!!!!!