Wednesday, April 18, 2012
So many things have happened and so many thoughts are swirling 'round my head!
Last Thursday, my really good friend's little brother tragically committed suicide. There were no warning signs and it was COMPLETELY out of the blue. Absolutely, absolutely horrible.
I don't think I can take living in my father's household anymore. His depression is overbearing- when you walk in the door, you can't help but to be drawn down with him. So many people have told him kindly that he needs help and that he has lost control overhimself, but he is in denial and refuses to listen. I've grown numb, honestly. We've never had a true relationship and I don't see that changine, because he won't change. I am stressed out ALL the time, because he takes such poor care of himself. I await the day when I get the call saying he has finally had the heart attack that will do him in. I don't know what to do anymore. He won't listen to anyone. I am entering the prime of my life (and college next year) and am tired of being weighed down, depressed, and anxious all the time. I really don't know where to turn and would really appreciate some advice.
Needless to say, I haven't exercised much lately and I feel horrible. I've also given up gluten (mom and aunt are celiacs, I don't react well to it and am trying to see if being gf will make me feel better) and I have a pop calculus TEST on Friday, covering three chapters, which I only learned about today. I am stressed to the max and and feeling pretty down...