Struggling with Sabotage
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I'm having a rougher time this week. I've lost 20 lbs in two weeks but it isn't getting easier. A big part of the problem is my family. My kids aren't using the quick and easy dinners I got for them to prepare and they leave food everywhere. I've finally dug out of the Easter candy I've been surrounded in for almost two weeks. My husband is no better. He's spending so much money eating out for lunch instead of bringing it to work and then bring home crap for him and the kids.
Sunday I nearly crashed after coming home from the Statehouse field trip with my youngest. There were the other three kids and DH huddled around three bowls; one of popcorn, one filled with Cheetos, and another bowl of FunYuns. This was lunch. The kitchen hadn't been cleaned. I had to go make my shakes in an area that reeked of food and chips and was covered in bits of pizza toppings.
I'm on Optifast 70 now because I'm losing the cartilage in my knee and need a replacement. It makes it really hard to exercise, but I'm doing the stretches and isometrics my "Physical Terrorist" assigned me every day. The 45 minute walking tour I did had already worn me out so I was hurting, starving and assaulted with their crap.
I vented to Facebook, which turned out to be a really good thing. I got the support there that I was lacking at home and made it through the night and Monday to have a good weigh in. I'm still having a challenging time. My family is used to me putting their needs before my own, for fifteen years for the kids and really for my husband as well. I guess I really shouldn't be too surprised if it takes more than two weeks for them to adjust to me putting my health and well being first.
My 20th Anniversary is coming up in May. My husband is trying to be supportive. He's told me he loves me and is very proud of me and what I'm trying to accomplish. That means a lot coming from my best friend. He just forgets sometimes how his actions affect me.
I got approval from my doctor to have egg white when I crave lean protein. I'm also allowed to have two servings of sugar free jello a day as well. That should help me.