Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I am sounding like a broken record. I am so unhappy right now with myself. I am exercising a lot, but seem to be eating too much because I am not loosing weight. I just spent another 5 days is the world of the "Thin". My husband and his motorcycle friends went to Death Valley. I drove down in a car with the wife of one of his friends. That is a 10 hour drive down (split into two days) and a 10 hour drive home (split into two days) and one day there. During that 5 day time this woman had one breakfast of two poached eggs and a piece of dry toast the first morning on the road. No lunches or snacks at all and less than 1/2 half a small dinner each evening. I mean like she ordered a salad with no dressing and a bowl of soup and ate three bits. (By that time I was counting). Not enough to keep a bird alive. I had an upset stomach the whole time because all the meds I take require food in my stomach. I also had a head ache from being hungry. The men were on the motorcycles going out to breakfast, lunch and dinner and I was stuck with skinny woman eating nothing except the snacks I had in the car for my husband. So how good can Frito's be for breakfast? One day I tried to get her to go to Starbucks for coffee so I could get one of their chicken sandwiches to eat and that was a major issue. She kept saying that she knew that I needed to eat so much more than her and that she would be glad to stop and watch me eat, but that she had two cups of coffee for breakfast and that would hold her till dinner. Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me? Then she was trying to push her home made cookies and banana bread on me that of course, she wouldn't eat. I needed real food. Protein, salad and veggies. She is trim, needless to say, but not as thin as she should have been for how little she was eating. I couldn't figure it out. Was she sneaking food behind my back and WHY? We hiked over 10 miles the one day we were in Death Valley all day and I was carrying 25 pounds of camera equipment on my back. The day we left Death Valley we hiked out to the sand dunes about 1 1/2 walking in loose sand. Still with me carrying my 25 pound camera bag. Still she wasn't eating. I ended up feeling like a giant oaf begging for food. I enjoyed her company except for this food thing she was doing to me. I have never been around someone like that. I hope I at least got some good photos for all my trouble. I am in such a bad mood now I don't even want to look at my shots. I will wait a couple of days until I can calm down and like myself better. I can't remember having someone seem so nice and yet make me feel so bad about myself. She is skinny. I am heavy. She isn't eating and I need to eat. Very strange indeed. I know I am better than all that.
I know you all stand behind me and I feel your hugs.