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"Occasionally" Not Cutting It

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I've just started my journey back to health. I've always considered myself fairly active. I just didn't have a body that kept up with what I thought I could do. I worked out occasionally. I usually ate well.

It wasn't until early this unseasonably warm spring that I tried to go hiking a nearby mountain (Sugarloaf, MD, if anyone is interested). My boyfriend pushed me to try the route that went straight up. I was ready for the hike. I wasn't ready for my failing lungs. We had to stop 5 minutes up the incredibly steep incline for me to catch my breath. I might be able to walk a slowly increasing incline on a treadmill, but straight up? In fresh air? Apparently my occasional workouts weren't cutting it.

Ryan (the BF) and I moved in together at the beginning of the year. One of the reasons stated was to eat better. We couldn't control what we were eating when surrounded by those who liked to order bad food. Pizza one night, Chinese another, homemade fried chicken and lots of butter and processed foods. Yet it took me over two months to realize I had brought some of those habits with me into the new place. My occasionally eating healthy foods wasn't offsetting my usually eating unhealthy. Not to mention the impact on my wallet. New job might pay better and be less stressful, but that money goes quickly when you start looking at lunch out 3 times a week. McDonald's breakfasts twice a week. And maybe occasionally treating myself to Panera. Occasionally cooking a healthy dinner wasn't stopping me from also occasionally cooking Kraft Mac and Cheese. Or checking out that new recipe for cookies and cakes. I might love baking, but it was not loving me. I would say to myself, I made homemade chicken yesterday, but I'm just tired today. Let's order a pizza.

But the breaking point? The turn around? One misplaced comment from earlier mentioned boyfriend. I didn't give him too much crap for it since he was more than slightly inebriated, but it still stung.

Everyone has that friend. That person that they know who is larger than they are. And we always think to ourselves, unfairly, mind you, that as long as I don't get THAT big. Hey I gained a little extra weight, but I'm still no where near her (his/their) size, so I'm okay. And my friend still has quite a lot of weight on me. However, sometimes its not about numbers, its about perception.

So when my loving BF came up behind my friend and I (very drunk) and made the comment that he couldn't tell who was who from behind, I might have taken it a little too literally.

Certainly while sober, he says that I look nothing like her. But apparently I had reached my vanity breaking point.

I KNOW. I know that it is bad to think like this. To compare myself to someone else. I KNOW that it's petty and demeaning. I know that it's not my best moment. However, it wasn't until that comment that I realized something had to change. Perception or not, I HAD gained weight. My "occasionallys" were no longer cutting it with me.

Two days later I was back at the gym.

So 7 weeks ago, I started working out. A lot. And I started tracking what I did. I no longer am trying to remember what days I worked out last week to justify taking a day off the next week. I now KNOW what days I worked out. I know how much I did. How many minutes I did and on what I did them on.

And just a few weeks ago, I rediscovered my SparkPeople page. Now I'm posting on there what I'm doing at the gym and what I'm eating.

3 weeks ago I discovered waking up early to go to the gym. I normally hate getting out of bed before I absolutely had to. But I've grown used to rolling out of bed, throwing on workout clothes and going to the gym for 30 minutes.

Seven weeks. A lot can change in seven weeks. Let's see what happens after twelve.

This was me at the Christmas Luncheon. This picture was posted on our company's website a week before the back side comment. Occasionally no longer what I wanted.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RAINA413
    Welcome to Spark People!! I am so glad you are here!

    This is a great place to begin your weight loss journey. There are so many amazing resources to benefit from. From the fitness and nutrition trackers, to the teams and groups where you can get endless amounts of support, motivation, and advice to the articles which will make you fitness and health smart!

    My best advice for you since you are new would be to set a goal for each day. It really helps give you focus and a sense of accomplishment. Also, I have to say I never used to be much for exercising, but it really is key! Use both your nutrition tracker and fitness tracker properly and accurately and you are guaranteed results!!

    I started off slow. Best advice I can give you is to buy a decent pedometer. If you can reach 10,000 steps a day then you are considered to have a very active lifestyle. That is one big step towards a healthier you and it is an attainable fitness goal you can reach every day! From there walk on the treadmill or in your neighborhood. This is how I started off. Just walking. Slowly I began to go a bit faster then a bit faster. Before I knew it I was walking one minute jogging the next. This "break" between jogs soon became shorter and shorter the more often I trained. Now I am running 8 miles a day! Just take it slow. Baby steps. Focus on one goal at a time and before you know it you will be well on your way!!
    2159 days ago
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