Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Our oldest daughter called last night and would I give her a ride to work today? As we drove she asked if I minded stopping at McDonalds. “Its tax relief day and sausage biscuits are only fifty nine cents!!!” I looked over at her for a moment and responded; “…..And about four hundred thirty calories.” She smiled. “Yeah but dad they are only fifty nine cents!!!” There is a line in one of my favorite movies, O Brother Where Art Thou that says “It’s a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.” My daughter’s intentions were pure and good. I gave her a ride to work; she was going to buy me breakfast, her way of thanking me. It would have been really easy to accept her logic and later today when I tallied my calories use her as a convenient foil. I mean isn’t making her sure her feelings aren’t hurt much more important than the nutritional value of my breakfast? I am not sure where we draw the line in the sand. I quit smoking seven years ago this week. I promised myself I wouldn’t be “one of those people,” and I’m not. If my health is as important as I claim, then there has to come a point in time where I truly believe I deserve the success that waits around the bend for me because I’m worth the effort I put into myself. Couched in all that sweetness, like a thorn next to a beautiful rose, is the nasty realization that I have to be accountable for my actions. You can love me half to death but in the long run I choose what goes in my mouth.
If this were easy ANYONE could do it. You and I aren’t anyone, we are amazing someone’s who mustered up the courage to walk this journey and sometimes fight the fight that is so difficult. I love sausage biscuits!!! Yes, I know one small slip or miss-step wouldn’t have been the end of the world but where is that definitive line in my life I have to draw and begin to get healthy? It’s never easy, you and I know that. But here at Spark we have a support system in place to guide us. It’s up to us to take advantage of the opportunity. Is this an amazing tool I can utilize to help me achieve and maintain a healthy balance in my life or is it a social networking sight for people with weight and health issues? Maybe it is both. I sure do enjoy the love and support I get from many of you and I am closer to some of you than I am some people in my non- virtual life. That’s all well and good, but why do I log in here every morning?
I didn’t eat the sausage biscuit. Instead, I let her buy me a large un -sweet iced tea. Yeah I know it’s got caffeine in it but no more so than a cup of coffee. I took it home and drank it while I ate my yogurt and banana. Everyone was happy. My very dear non-biological younger sister gave me a really cool Christmas present. It is a daily calendar from Hay House. As I sat down to write this morning and I tore off yesterday’s inspiration I was greeted with this message: “I recognize my body as a wondrous machine, and I feel privileged to live in it.”
Yeah, accountability is often that prickly thorn that sticks deep and causes us much pain. Hidden behind the rose of goals and nice ideas it reminds us that this journey can be arduous at times. Take consolation in the fact that you are indeed WORTH every painful decision you have to make, and you DESERVE all the praise you give yourself when you make the best decision for you. That is one decision no one can make for any of us and it sure feels good when we make the right one. Reaching out goals is like building a tower. With each success we reach higher and the building itself gets stronger.
If ya need me……….. I’m here.