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    JOHNTJ1   66,362
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The Thorn Beneath The Rose

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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Our oldest daughter called last night and would I give her a ride to work today? As we drove she asked if I minded stopping at McDonalds. “Its tax relief day and sausage biscuits are only fifty nine cents!!!” I looked over at her for a moment and responded; “…..And about four hundred thirty calories.” She smiled. “Yeah but dad they are only fifty nine cents!!!” There is a line in one of my favorite movies, O Brother Where Art Thou that says “It’s a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.” My daughter’s intentions were pure and good. I gave her a ride to work; she was going to buy me breakfast, her way of thanking me. It would have been really easy to accept her logic and later today when I tallied my calories use her as a convenient foil. I mean isn’t making her sure her feelings aren’t hurt much more important than the nutritional value of my breakfast? I am not sure where we draw the line in the sand. I quit smoking seven years ago this week. I promised myself I wouldn’t be “one of those people,” and I’m not. If my health is as important as I claim, then there has to come a point in time where I truly believe I deserve the success that waits around the bend for me because I’m worth the effort I put into myself. Couched in all that sweetness, like a thorn next to a beautiful rose, is the nasty realization that I have to be accountable for my actions. You can love me half to death but in the long run I choose what goes in my mouth.

If this were easy ANYONE could do it. You and I aren’t anyone, we are amazing someone’s who mustered up the courage to walk this journey and sometimes fight the fight that is so difficult. I love sausage biscuits!!! Yes, I know one small slip or miss-step wouldn’t have been the end of the world but where is that definitive line in my life I have to draw and begin to get healthy? It’s never easy, you and I know that. But here at Spark we have a support system in place to guide us. It’s up to us to take advantage of the opportunity. Is this an amazing tool I can utilize to help me achieve and maintain a healthy balance in my life or is it a social networking sight for people with weight and health issues? Maybe it is both. I sure do enjoy the love and support I get from many of you and I am closer to some of you than I am some people in my non- virtual life. That’s all well and good, but why do I log in here every morning?

I didn’t eat the sausage biscuit. Instead, I let her buy me a large un -sweet iced tea. Yeah I know it’s got caffeine in it but no more so than a cup of coffee. I took it home and drank it while I ate my yogurt and banana. Everyone was happy. My very dear non-biological younger sister gave me a really cool Christmas present. It is a daily calendar from Hay House. As I sat down to write this morning and I tore off yesterday’s inspiration I was greeted with this message: “I recognize my body as a wondrous machine, and I feel privileged to live in it.”

Yeah, accountability is often that prickly thorn that sticks deep and causes us much pain. Hidden behind the rose of goals and nice ideas it reminds us that this journey can be arduous at times. Take consolation in the fact that you are indeed WORTH every painful decision you have to make, and you DESERVE all the praise you give yourself when you make the best decision for you. That is one decision no one can make for any of us and it sure feels good when we make the right one. Reaching out goals is like building a tower. With each success we reach higher and the building itself gets stronger.

If ya need me……….. I’m here.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARIONWARSAW 4/18/2012 2:17PM

  Thanks for the inspiration I needed to hear this today. :)

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WELSTEACH 4/18/2012 2:09PM

    John, how right you are! We often allow people we love to do unloving things to us (in the name of love) without considering it as you did. Nice compromise, and you didn't let your love for her get in the way of her real love for you.

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MARTI1957 4/18/2012 1:52PM

    John, I am really awed by the rose and thorns analogy. You write such deep and inspirational blogs. thank you for the sometimes not so easy accountability lessons. emoticon Marti

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TERRIJ_1 4/18/2012 1:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TERRIJ_1 4/18/2012 1:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TERRIJ_1 4/18/2012 1:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SCZKCZ 4/18/2012 1:39PM

    needed this today as I thought about going to McDonalds, which I didn't but thank you for what you said,

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 4/18/2012 1:29PM

    I recently had one of those McDonald's type of decisions to make over the weekend and chose the best option available, and I like you, was proud of my decision. I could have "cheated" but then where would I be for my next meal.

Thanks for reminding me we aren't alone in some of our mental struggles as well.

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JUSGETTENBY42 4/18/2012 1:25PM

    emoticon

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LESSOFPMCD 4/18/2012 1:24PM

    Great blog. So true. We often forget we are in charge of our bodies.

Making the right choice in the morning helps to keep you making the right choices for the rest of the day. One choice at a time - one day at a time.

We are worth it!

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BESCATS 4/18/2012 1:22PM

    Excellent blog, I know what you mean !! We were at McDonald the other morning & had just a coffee and one of their muffins. There was a sign for BOGO for $.01 on their Big Mac, Double cheeseburger, etc. on April 17 only (hubby's birthday). He just looked at me & smiled, and I said even if it is your birthday, the answer is NO. We are working to hard to lose weight & get in shape. He just turned 69, has lost 75 lbs., and has many more to go. He relented, and agreed that I was right. Sometimes it is hard to give up the things you like, but you always feel better later.

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GINGERVISTA 4/18/2012 1:19PM

    emoticon job! Not only did you put your health first, but you gave your daughter a valuable lesson & set a wonderful example. emoticon

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DAWNO64 4/18/2012 1:18PM

    As someone who has been making lousy choices lately and am well aware of it, I NEEDED to read this blog today. Accountability is a point of pride for me and I've been failing drastically. I am, after all, worth more, aren't I?

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DMSGLASS 4/18/2012 1:15PM

    Inspiring blog - makes me think more deeply about the choices I make. Thnak you for posting.

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LIVELYGIRL2 4/18/2012 1:05PM

  Excellent blog! I like your thinking process, ad wanting to do the right thing and of course not hurt your daughter. It's sweet she wanted to thank you by providing a meal or snack.

It turns out to be hundreds or thousands of hose tiny choices, which when added up determine if we stay on target and become successful. Yesterday I was listening to a podcast about motivation and exercise while walking in the neighborhood. I notices that many of her ideas; I had seen on Spark. While I had read them and studied them, rarely had I made specific plans and steps to accomplish goals. Pretty insightful and convicting. I basically just say in my head, how many times I worked out this week.

And BTW John,

I joined a new Spark group called Determination and Accountability.I couldn't help but notice how many members have rejoined, or began anew. This relates to your " idea blog". Because you had written this awhile back; I took it upon myself to go to their website and drop them a gift of encouragement.

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KITKAT_46510 4/18/2012 1:04PM

    I needed to read this post. It made my day to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Unfortuneatly, when my son made dinner, I gave in and ate it. It was delicious, but totally threw off my whole day of healthy eating. Lesson learned.

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LAINYC 4/18/2012 12:55PM

    emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 4/18/2012 12:52PM

    Not just anyone.... I like it!

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PRAYINGSUZIE 4/18/2012 12:47PM

    Thank you for writing this blog!

Suzie

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LEAELLEN07 4/18/2012 12:45PM

    You and I are not anyone. I love it.
Great blog!

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SPECIALGURL7 4/18/2012 12:37PM

    Good choice. It was thought of your daughter to do something special for her dad. The tea was good because she got to get it herself. Great dad.

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FITBODME 4/18/2012 12:36PM

    I'm inspired by your strength and congrats for your 7yr streak of not smoking! It's been almost 2 months for me and if you can do it I know I can do it...thanks for motivating me today to continue on my healthy journey.

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HYATTI1 4/18/2012 12:35PM

    Funny blog I think we have all been there, but you at least pin the tail on the donkey. Good job,,,

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CHRIMSONFYRE 4/18/2012 12:18PM

    Good for you for not giving in, it's all about baby steps!

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CHERYLSBUTT 4/18/2012 12:15PM

    We make choices everyday...the win here is that you had the knowledge to maintain the will power and enjoy time with your daughter without the guilt.
emoticon to you!

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TURKEYPEPPERONI 4/18/2012 12:13PM

   
Fabulous blog. So happy I had the opportunity to read it.

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IRONBLOSSOM 4/18/2012 12:06PM

    Good for you! I do that WAY too much "oh, they want to go out for (or buy me) coffee/breakfast etc...it would be churlish of me to refuse!"

Great inspiration!

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PATIB13 4/18/2012 12:02PM

    Not always easy, but good choice. You still allowed her to thank you in a way that was meaningful to her without compromising yourself. Good job

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GREENFAIRY390 4/18/2012 11:58AM

  Amen.

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MANIKLODE 4/18/2012 11:52AM

    How inspiring and how true. I think in the long run, your commitment (and your results) will speak louder than words. It's nice that you were able to satisfy your daughter's desire to treat you while keeping your resolve.

emoticon

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DEE797 4/18/2012 11:41AM

    Terrific blog. You have a way with words and getting to the heart of things. Thanks so much for sharing your insights with us.

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ISABELLE31 4/18/2012 11:31AM

    Great insight! Thanks for sharing it!

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CLAIRE94620 4/18/2012 11:31AM

    I was at a crossroad of choices this morning and your blog was the support I needed.

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NTRLRED 4/18/2012 11:27AM

  I teared up! Our loved ones often don't realize what they are doing to us. And it made me consider how I often allow my children to eat unhealthy because I love them and want them to be happy. My 9 year old daughter is struggling and I sometimes feel bad when I tell her no. But this reminds me that it comes from a place of love and really is best for her.

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JLHODKINSON 4/18/2012 11:18AM

    Very Inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing your message today!

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JEBARBAREE 4/18/2012 11:10AM

    Once again, THANK YOU! So many times, family/friends will say "just one bite won't hurt". HELLO???? Thanks!!!

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ZUEPEA 4/18/2012 11:09AM

    Wonderful! You truly do value yourself and made the right choice. You should be proud. And not only that you are setting a great example for your daughter. She will know to live well because of you. And most importantly to value herself. Great blog! And thank you for the motivation and inspiration to keep believing in myself and making the right choices. Best of luck to you! I know you'll do it. And congratulations for quitting smoking! My mom did too and she has never turned back. Your daughter must be proud to have a wonderful dad like you!

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LUCKYONE60 4/18/2012 11:09AM

    Wow, and what a beautiful message you are sending to your daughter about your self-worth, sticking to your goals, that not eating a sausage biscuit is not about her, making healthy choices, etc. A beautiful message for all of us too!

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MAVERICK59 4/18/2012 11:09AM

    Very well said!
Thank you for sharing.

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BIGDADDYDAVE2 4/18/2012 10:59AM

  I needed this today. Interesting how God sends us what we need--when we need it. Thanks!!!!!

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MARELLAJ 4/18/2012 10:57AM

    Just what I needed to hear! As soon as I renew a goal to eat wisely, temptations seem to crop up wherever I go...along with reasons to justify some of those temptations, including the reason in your story today. We will only reach our goals if we shoot for them consistently. Thank you for inspiring me to be consistent!

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TANNI22 4/18/2012 10:57AM

    Why is it that unhealthy food is always cheaper? I too sometimes have the problem of buying things because you get so much for so little. It's hard for me sometimes because I am cheap. :)

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JUDYAASH 4/18/2012 10:55AM

    You always inspire me!!

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MARIFLOWER 4/18/2012 10:53AM

  Very, very true! Like the quote about the body! All the small, hard decisions will add up for our benefit! Thanks!

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SMANISMELL 4/18/2012 10:53AM

    A sausage biscuit can be so good! But it is good that you held on to your resolve not to eat one. This was an awesome blog. Thanks for sharing.

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LVMAMAW 4/18/2012 10:51AM

    Well said! You are right, we all struggle with this. But it is the bottom line between success (health) and failure (our old ways)! Thank you for sharing. BTW, CONGRATS on your healthy choice!! You are a good dad!!

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VONBLACKBIRD 4/18/2012 10:51AM

    Yea for sticking to your guns....way to go!!!

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GERIKRAGH 4/18/2012 10:49AM

    You have good sound advice. WE all must remember that we hold ourselves accountable for our choices--good or bad.

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NANCYBFULLER 4/18/2012 10:47AM

    thanks, your message hit the spot in so many ways. So much that I put in my mouth I do so, so that "I don't hurt someone's feelings."

I also am going to copy and paste this thought.

“I recognize my body as a wondrous machine, and I feel privileged to live in it.”


Onto my own sparkpage. You have been a tender mercy in my lfie this morning. Thank you



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MARTHASPARKS 4/18/2012 10:46AM

    Great blog!

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