Well, the big STATE TESTS have started. I was more anxious this morning than ever about testing. I feel like so much is riding on this for us, as teachers and as a school. I think a big part of our downward spiral is that test scores went down and we didn't make AYP, then teachers felt discouraged, then kids sensed it, and stopped caring as much. And it goes on and on. And if that cycle doesn't change, then scores won't improve, then kids just have a crappy image of their school. Then teachers top caring (because why should they if the kids don't - at least that's what some of my colleagues have said), and it goes on and on.

So, yeah. Testing day.

Today SUCKED. I've been assigned to proctor with a teacher who was told that he will not be invited back to our campus next year, and he's bitter. And I get it, I do. But really, this guy has NEVER ONCE expressed that he enjoyed teaching on our campus, has never indicated a willingness to work with the population we serve and try to meet them on their own terms, and he's just a negative, bitter man. The ONLY reason I can think that he would want to stay is that our previous two administrators let him do whatever he wanted and didn't challenge him. Our current principal will NOT allow the way he talks to kids, and apparently she's had enough. However, this means I'm stuck babysitting him and making sure that testing happens appropriately in his classroom. Today that meant I spent the entire three hours walking the room constantly and escorting kids, while he sat at his computer most of the time. Hint: proctoring the tests means you CONSTANTLY move around the room checking on kids. Not sitting at your desk letting me do all the work. Ass. I wish I'd worn my pedometer today.

Days like this make me want to eat and eat and eat. And I was NOT good. I succumbed to a croissant at lunch (and a cookie) and a small package of Hot Tamales that I'd bought for Saturday school and forgot to give to the kids. I have to get those OUT of my room tomorrow. But on the plus side, I walked the room for 3 hours straight, and then came home and did a 30-minute stint on the recumbent bike. And I did a bunch of calf raises in the few times I stopped walking. So I guess that's something.

I'd like to say I'm going to focus and do better, but I'm already feeling like I blew today. So, I'm trying to refocus and eat better, but I just have to take it day by day. I'm exercising at least 4 days a week, so I feel good about that. I'll get there. :)