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    LUNADRAGON   69,450
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Been here before


Monday, April 16, 2012

At the beginning.
Damage control.
Fighting off the weight gained after the surgery.
Being thankful that at least I did lose 30 before the 3 surgeries, even if I have gained 20 back. I am not back to square one, I am back to square 10.
Somehow I have to kickstart my metabolism, and get the losing mechanism going. I have to fight discouragement. I have to stop eating out of the box. I have to write it down, and log it and keep drinking my water.
I am mad at myself, but for some reason, the last 10 jumped back on my butt and tummy and are saying "Hello lady, here we are, along for the ride once again."
Bull. The buck stops here.
(Takes a swig of water.)
Them are fighting words.
I won't take it lying down (except for the 10 minutes of daily pt stretches I need to reincorporate into my daily life - because that is where it began, where I began to lose the weight last time - with those little 10 minute fitness bytes.)

So, I did 12 minutes this morning, and though my back was spazzing when I got into the car to go to work, I told myself to buck up, that it would relax and I would be ok, and so it was.
Now, I am not sure how long the temporary work is going to last, as the bottom of the pile is near at hand. I asked about the positions I applied for, and now am waiting an answer. That kind of stress makes me reach for the box of (STOP IT RIGHT THERE - You are NOT opening that box)
Grabs a swig of water. That's better. Sigh! Probably dehydrated.

Then, I am waiting on the balance of my worker's comp check, as it is two weeks late, and the next one is due this week.... so... why am I waiting??? How long... Well lookie here, this is another one of those stress til you eat situations. LEAVE THAT BOX ALONE! That's right - back away from the box and no one will get hurt. Here, have a swig of water. gulp gulp gulp.
You are only up to 5 cups, since you can't count the coffee and tea from this morning.

So, you know you should really reset the whole thing. It doesn't negate what you did before. This is a new start. A "do-over". You knew it would be hard to lose weight after, to maintain the weight loss. SO, it happened. Face it. Deal with it. That's where you are. I refuse to buy bigger clothes. (except for the bras, need to have that support). Now to fit back into the next size down for the summer.

This is the day. This is time. This is the beginning. We HAVE been here before. I am not alone. Starting over is not a lonely activity.

You can do it. You have done it before. Make it happen.
Don't act that way. You CAN do it. Stay focused.
Have a drink of water.

Thank you, don't mind if I do. Almost 6 down.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JANNUNN 4/17/2012 3:14AM

    See you are definately not alone ,me ,you and countless others :)) well done for fighting the back spazz..thats definately not easy !! and for your strength of fight ..BUT ..dont forget you have been through a lot and a bit of tlc is also recommended ..xx emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 4/16/2012 11:20PM

    Deborah, I LOVE your ATTITUDE! And a good attitude is nothing new for you, either! emoticon emoticon

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OAKSHAVEN 4/16/2012 10:40PM

    Welcome back, and good self control, saying no to all those #%$*^% boxes.

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GEORGIEGURLZ 4/16/2012 10:27PM

    I am joining your party! Yes, I have been there before too. Starting over. Then I think, why did I let this happen? And how? Kind of like it sneaks up and then says "Hi, I'm back". Then I think why didn't I notice this before?

The maintenance thing is something I am really going to focus on this time. I guess I don't know anything about how to maintain after I lose. Obviously; or I wouldn't be starting over. I am reading alot of the info here on Spark People about maintenance. I need to learn all I can.

Keep up the good attitude. You can do this....again.

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KEL_BEL_FX3 4/16/2012 9:15PM

    You can do this! I just did a big reset/restart myself! We can do this together!

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CANDY58 4/16/2012 7:44PM

    AHHH starting over emoticon sweep those bad habits out the window. You can do this one step at a time. We are here to help. Getting back on track can be tough start with a few small steps, water, tracking and getting those trigger foods out of the house.
Hope you get your checks soon added stress doesn't help anyone.

Hugs,
Candy

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SCOOTER4263 4/16/2012 7:14PM

    I think almost all of us have started over a few - or a few dozen - times. What's in the past doesn't make any difference for what's in the future. emoticon

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NORASPAT 4/16/2012 6:27PM

    DEborah, you know you can do it. Of course you can. make YOU your first priority, you can do it. Go for it. Pat in Maine. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LHLADY517 4/16/2012 6:09PM

    I love your attitude:
"This is the day. This is time. This is the beginning. We HAVE been here before. I am not alone. Starting over is not a lonely activity.

You can do it. You have done it before. Make it happen.
Don't act that way. You CAN do it. Stay focused.
Have a drink of water.

Thank you, don't mind if I do. Almost 6 down. "

WAY TO GO!!!

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