Monday, April 16, 2012
Yesterday I was walking past the mirror and for the first time in awhile the fat goggles were off and I saw the real me- no dysmorphia either way i.e. seeing myself more skinny or more fat just realistic. It was nasty. I looked at that woman and I didn't recognise her. Finally could see what all my binging has done to me and the denial. Just feel sadden. Is this another gun-ho pledging blog???? NO that is where I have gone wrong so much in the past. This is going to take time to deal with. I am not huge therefore I keep thinking I am ok not too bad, but you know what I could be so much better. I think because I have always been bigger, that I don't fully believe that it is possible to get smaller. But I want to..... how??? not looking to the future! sounds backwards - but best quote I read once was " don't weigh yourself, try things on, just get up everyday watch what you eat, exercise do your best everyday - focus on today" well not exact quote but you get the idea.