181 lbs today. So no loss for my 5% challenge team. But at least no gain this week either. We ae halfway through this challenge now and it looks like it will be another challenge of no progress but if I can end at my starting weight then I will be happy with that......so that means in the next 4 weeks I would like to lose 5 pounds.

I am on the Sass Bahama Mama team and this week we were to get in 4-20 minutes sessions of cardio and 2 - 20 minute sessions of st. I have gotten in 3 cardio sessions and plan to get the 4th one in today. Failed to get the st in again......need to go through my workout dvds and find some of the ones that are cicuit style with stength and cardio and maybe that will make me do it.

I did much better with my eating this week. I track my food right now on another site and they encourage you to eat back your exercise calories.......when I log and do it consistently it does work but I am not consistent and need to work on that. I even managed to eat good and get in a workout Thursday when i worked but it was a shot day and I only worked 3 hours. Now Friday I worked 6 hours and got knocked off course.......I ate breakfast about 5:30am and had two eggs, two pieces of toast, a bowl of instant oatmeal fruit flavored, and 1/2 cup honey bunches of oats cereal to top my oatmeal (this was a high calorie breakfast - much higher than I like to usually have my meals but I wanted it to stick with me). I sat down for about 10 minutes or so aound 10am for lunch (I was getting a little hungry before this but not bad)......so I ate a hormel compleat meal and it was the chicken marinara meal and I think it had between 200-300 calories and I had a slim fast snack bar for 100 calories (cause I need something sweet).......this meal did NOT stick with me yesterday very long at all - it wasn't long and I felt empty and was hungry again. When I got off work at 1pm I had a Nature valley (I think that is the brand) chewy protein granola bar and it had 190 calories. Once I got home I was hurting so I rested on the couch and logged all my food in and didn't have much calories left fo the day (usually when I am not working I have a much smaller breakfast and lunch and have a few small snacks too so then my stuff is kinda equally spaced and i have a little bit of a bigger supper and a small evening snack). So i was trying to keep my mind off of food though I felt like i needed something and then this backfired on me and around 3 pm I gave in to junk and it was downhill from there.

Also this week I am fighting some really down feelings. Part of it has to be because of stress. Can't seem to find a job. Am working this part time job right now and am making less than min. wage and not getting many hours. feel like i am a failure as a mom cause i want to supply more for my kids. don't have any friends to hang out with. am lonely. feel down on myself with the weight loss stuggles and the overeating. feels like such a load on my shoulders and I am so weary.