Friday, April 13, 2012
Why I no longer say no.
I once thought that if I said "NO" to certain foods that I was practicing self control. I would beat myself up every time I would eat the foods on my "no list". I would feel guilty, deprived, angry, upset, and self conscious every time I wanted my "no list foods". It became a daily struggle to not eat those foods. A struggle that I lost every time I binged. I then decided one day that I would no longer say no. I would allow myself to indulge in chocolate fudge brownies, I would eat baked goods, carbs, ice cream, and treats and not feel guilty about it. It took me months to not feel guilty about something I tried to deprive myself of for years. I realized the moment I took the power away from the food I learned how to say no thank you. I also realized that the food no longer had the same appeal. I was no longer controlled by the foods when I put them back on my list. I stayed within my calories but I ate what I wanted. It worked. The food no longer controlled me.
Although I am 254 pounds and have struggled for years with losing weight and most look at me and say ya but you are 254 pounds, I look at them square in the eye and say yes, but I was not always 254 pounds and I just had a baby. I also have medical issues that I was dealing with for the past 5 yrs and now that they are solved I am getting the weight off permanently. Yes, I am starting this journey over again for the last time. I am back to working out now that my baby isn't pushing on my groin, I am eating on my diet plan, and I am now free of the birth control I was using that made me really sick and kept weight on me even though I wad eating 1500 calories a day and working out 2-4 hrs a day.
One of the things I have learned from doing diets that worked was that I was never deprived of dessert. With Slimfast I was even encouraged to eat chocolate bars and drink chocolate milk shakes twice a day. I lost down to 164 pounds without depriving myself by doing a combination of drinking Slimfast, doing Weight Watchers, and counting calories. I learned that I didn't need to deprive myself of tempting foods, I just needed to find alternatives.
Chocolate was my main down fall. I started eating cocoa puffs, chocolate soy milk, and I drink Slimfast or eat a Slimfast bar, if I am craving chocolate. These were healthier ways to overcome my need for a chocolate bar. There is so many healthier choices than the high fat alternatives. I also have learned if I just stay with in my calorie range I no longer have to worry about what I eat.