OK, so I decided on Monday April 2 that after trying this whole "eating clean and working out" thing on my own that maybe I should reboot my Sparkpeople page and get more involved. I started tracking my food and fitness minutes and it's been very helpful, and also very enlightening.
I promised myself I wouldn't fudge any details either, if I put it in my mouth, I put it on my tracker.
Well, this past week has been pretty crazy because I've gone out to dinner three times. Trying to estimate the sizes and ingredients of dishes that don't come with nutrition information is difficult and I think I might be rounding UP because I'm afraid of underestimating the calories I'm ingesting. I am finding that I'm pausing before eating something now if I don't know who made it or what's in it. I don't want to become a mental case, but I do want to be sure that what I'm eating is tracked accurately.
So with that in mind, let me say that this week I have had three days where I have eaten TOO MANY CALORIES. It's easy to do! It makes me think how blindly I have been eating over the last few years that I haven't been as aware of my choices and then wondering why I'm still fat.
I know why now!
I need to remember that I am doing this one day at a time. And sometimes one meal at a time. Yesterday my meals and snacks were squeaky clean until I went out to my unofficial mother-in-law's 80th birthday party. Then it was kind of a free-for-all. I ate smaller amounts than I usually did, but the food there was still pretty rich and heavy. Entering my estimated calories from last night was like sticker shock. I ate WAY over my range.
This morning I'm paying for it! I feel kind of bloated and gross. I know this will pass and I'm looking forward to a clean lunch -- I'm trying get all my fruits and veggies in to my day.
I'm also looking forward to going to a beginner yoga class with my sister tomorrow morning. She has been feeling bad about her recent weight gain and even though she's got far less to lose than I, her pain is just as valid as mine, and we are both in the process of doing something about it, it's empowering.
It reminds me of this:
AND THIS IS TRUE. I firmly believe we can't berate and hate ourselves into change. I am not punishing myself for being fat.
I am LOVING myself by feeding myself the best fuel, for moving this amazing body that is getting stronger and stronger. I am loving myself by allowing my head to change along with my habits. I can't "think" my way out of bad habits, I have to ACT my way into GOOD HABITS.
It's also loving myself to have a PLAN when it comes to dining out rather than going in with a raging appetite and a weak will.
1) Research before dining out - if they don't post their nutritional information, order something that's as clean as possible (yes, heavy cream sauces are yummy, but they don't feel good the next day!)
2) Get those veggies (and some fruits) in every day! Each meal.
3) Put the bread basket as far away from me as possible, because it's never whole grain.
I'm grateful that there are no events on the horizon where I will be dining out any time soon. May is a rough month though. Mother's Day, a niece's birthday, and three birthdays in my house, including mine. I will hopefully have more strategies by then so I am not blown off course every time someone hands me a menu.