Friday, April 13, 2012
I know I am still fat, but I don't really feel fat most days. I don't know if anyone else knows what I mean or feels that way. When I was thin, I felt fat. Now that I am fat, well yes at my highest I felt fat, but now 42 pounds lighter, I dont feel so fat. In fact, I was feeling pretty good, sexy almost even. Does anyone else feel that way or know what I mean?
Well anyways, so I was feeling so much better about everything, but this week.... I have been a bit under the weather due to sinuses, and therefore not exercising. My weight has held steady, maybe even losing half to one pound still, but I just feel different. I just feel fat.
I noticed it yesterday. I just feel fat again. I feel like I did before the 42 pounds was gone. I did have some yogurt yesterday, which I have most days, but now I am thinking I really need to pay attention to how I feel after every food, and see how it is affecting me. Maybe yogurt makes me bloat and feel fat? So I guess I really need to start paying attention.
I had some oatmeal earlier in the week, just to prove to myself that I could without issues, but then I was ummm ... gasey.... and felt miserable for awhile, most of the day actually. But I was also eating some cooked cabbage, so that might not be fair to the oatmeal. But I do still think I should stay away from the oatmeal. I just hate that though. I was starting to like it, it is cheap, but it does not fill me up for very long so I guess in the long run, it really isnt that cheap if it just takes more food a few hours later.
I also have not really exercised to speak of. So maybe the key for me to feeling better is to make sure I move every day. I mean I know I should anyways, but maybe this has just proven it for me on a personal level. I have still moved and got some things done, like rearranging and reorganizing, just not over exerted to break a sweat.
Ok, so I was feeling bloated I guess is the word. I felt like my stomach was my old 42 pound ago stomach. So last night, I measured just my waist and it was the same, so I felt better. I didnt measure anything else, I just went to bed.
And I slept. For almost 12 hours. So I do feel better today I guess. It is rainy dark and gloomy, but my garden needed it, as did the pastures for the horses, so I am thankful for that. I need to just plug in a DVD and hit it I guess, or hop on the elliptical.
I know my sister feels achy on rainy days, with her arthritis. But I just feel like a little ole lady puttering around the last few days. I need to snap out of it. Writing this down has helped. Thank you to whoever might have listened to my babble :)