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    NOTHIN2IT   51,579
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What a downer!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

WARNING: This blog is a going to be a downer so if you are not in the mood for it you might want to exit out!
Here it is, April 2012. I started seriously with Sparkpeople 1 year ago. I was doing so good!. I lost about 25 lbs and I was feeling great!! I'm not really sure what happened but things started going downhill and now I'm sitting here a year later feeling angry, tried and distraught. Not only have I gained back the 25 lbs but I have gained an additional 6 lbs! The biggest problem is that I can't seem to get any motivation back! Everyday I tell myself that this is the day I start again.....but inevitably, I fail. Do you know what it feels like to fail at something EVERY DAY?! I'm sure some of you do. I know we all have our struggles and I know that there are probably some of you that have been where I am at now.

I just don't know what to do now. I'm kind of at the end of my rope with nowhere to go. I have lost all faith in myself and my ability to accomplish anything. So now I'm wondering if I should just come to terms with the fact that I'm fat and forget about trying to lose weight and be healthy. But, I know that I will never be happy with myself like this. Everytime I look in the mirror I see what a failure I am.

I know that it's important to just keep starting over....but honestly, I don't have the energy. I finally got back to the gym today after being away for 3 weeks (being out of town and working created havoc with my workouts!) and I had a hard time just doing 30 minutes on the elliptical...without any incline! Instead of feeling energized by finally getting some kind of workout in, I just came home and cried and felt miserable.

Anyway.....sorry you have to listen to me whine. I just was hoping maybe someone has been where I am and had some wonderful advice for me. Maybe I just need someone to come over and kick my behind in gear! :)

I appreciate all of you dear sparkfriends! Don't know what I would do without you. emoticon Thanks so much for listening.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVINGFREE19 8/13/2012 7:13AM

    That is definitely a defeating feeling I know, but remember, you are not alone. A lot of us have done the same thing.
When you get so discouraged, going through some of the motivational articles might get you going. I really have to say, that it has helped me, to go through those articles when I am feeling totally unsuccessful.
I wish I had more advice for you, but I don't. Just don't be so hard on yourself! Think of the positives. You are a great person for sure and you know you can do this again. Keep telling yourself that and you will be back on the road again, losing weight!!
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NATURALLYJEN 4/13/2012 8:49AM

    I've been watching The Biggest Loser on Netflix the last few weeks. You can stream all the seasons. I'd never watched the show before this. It is SO inspiring!!! So inspiring.

In Season 7 one gal was having a HARD time with her workout, she was doubled over feelin' the pain, Jillian was yelling at her to get up and keep going. Suddenly she just stands straight up and says "I'm changing my life!" and started right back in on the treadmill.

I think that has become my new mantra. When I don't want to do any workout, I go for a walk - "I'm changing my life", when I reach for junk food because I'm bored or feeling blue, I'll chew gum instead - "I'm changing my life", when I want to drink pop I'll have wather - "I'm changing my life", when it just seems too hard or too scary I'm gonna do it - "I'M CHANGING MY LIFE!!!".

Make one good choice today. Take some of the great advice people have posted here: drink water, go for a walk, eat an apple instead of chips or whatever. Do that thing and then remember that no matter what else you do or don't do no one can take away that one good thing. Not even you. You'll find that your one good thing will soon inspire you to do 2 good things. Next thing you know you'll be making more good choices than bad. It'll build from there. It will.

You DESERVE all good things. I believe you can do it.

You're in my thoughts and I'm rooting for you! emoticon

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AWOOD1973 4/13/2012 2:12AM

    Listen, don't be so hard on yourself! We all have slip ups, but we dust ourselves off and try again. I wish I had some almighty words of over-the-top encouragement for you. All I can do, is tell you that I am totally here for you! I can send a motivational text to you everyday, if I know it will help you!

I know you can do this! You are strong, and can overcome anything! Now that your trips are out of the way, you need to sit down and re-evaluate what you can do to get back to it.

Set smaller goals for yourself. Reward yourself when you comeplete them! For example... Set a goal that you want to lose 5lbs in a 3 to 4 week period. When you meet it, treat yourself to a new pair of workout shoes, or a manicure, or something that makes you happy! I know when I jumped back on here to start over (for the umpteenth time), I told myself that if I went to the gym 6 days a week, that I would treat myself to a new pair of Skechers. Boy, was I diligent, because I got that pair of shoes! :)

I have been going through motivational issues, too. It's been kinda overcast and rainy here, which plays on my mood pretty badly. When it's gorgeous out, I get out. I am feeling like I am getting too old for 3rd shift, but here lately, I have been coming home from work and going to bed. What a difference it's starting to make. I actually am starting to feel like a human.

Andrea, we all have what we call "failures", but I know that deep down inside you KNOW you can do this. I hope it felt a little better getting your feelings out in your blog. That always gives me some relief. I wish we lived closer... We would be thin, happy and healthy, because I truly believe that we do better, when we have someone to join our journey with us. Take things slow and steady... Jump back on your wagon, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!

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POOKASLUAGH 4/12/2012 10:08PM

    I've been where you are now and it sucks. The only thing you can do is not give up on yourself, but look back and see where you went off track, and take measures to make sure those same things don't happen again. Start with small goals, little things, things you can do every day even if you're not motivated. Remember it doesn't take motivation, only a decision to act, no matter what. Good luck - I"m in a place right now where I'm not at all motivated, so I completely understand what that feels like. You can do it though! It's hard, but you're strong, and you can do it. Draw strength from the things and people around you.

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SKNYMOMWANNABE 4/12/2012 9:06PM

    First re-define failure...Failure is giving up completely. Your gym time says you haven't thrown in the towel yet. I gained weight pretty fast with baby #2 and stayed fat and miserable for way too many years. I can't imagine that staying heavy is really an option if you think about it?

Secondly instead of failing daily, set some small acheivable goals. Start with drinking 8 glasses of water EVERYDAY. If at 9p you are still short 3 glasses go ahead and chug some, yes you will be up in the night but you will have succeeded!

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Sometimes it's more important to have a run at success, don't worry about WHAT you are succeeding in, just WIN already. Then committ to 4 workouts a week of 30 minutes. You have one in the bag, one tomorrow and one both Saturday and Sunday-ANOTHER WIN! Starting Monday repeat-drink water, 4 workouts. At the end of week two add one more thing, again attainable. WRITE YOUR FOOD DOWN, all of it, every miserbale chip, cookie and whatnot. Simply be accountable. Get a handle on how much you are eating. Did you gain back the weight eating 2500 calories a day or 4000 calories a day? Track your food. don't change what you eat, simply track it for now. You will have three weeks of winning under your belt and now using your food logs strike 500 calories from your diet a day. That's it. In a week you should be down a pound. It sounds like you need a good dusting off so how about it? Start small and build. Cheering you on! emoticon

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