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Just random thoughts

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Needing some prayers from anyone who can spare some.

1. Mom is having her right knee replaced. Mentally she is scared. I can't say I blame her for that at all. Trying to get her to focus on the fact that she'll feel better once it's done. She's hanging in there, but has been through so much since last June (diagnosis of breast cancer, lumpectomy followed by radiatin therapy) and then she had bilateral rotator cuff tears . . . PAINFUL!

2. Yesterday got the news that an Aunt Mary died . . . my Mother's oldest brother Bob's wife. She had Alzheimers and it was "the long good-bye" indeed.

She was a very spirited person . . . dramatic. And that was her passion. My Aunt taught theater in High School. I got hooked into loving theater succumbing to her influence. I thanked her for that many times over, because it enriched my life.

Probably my favorite memory of my Aunt Mary was co-chaperoning a bunch of 18 giggly high-school Jrs. and Srs. on a trip to London. We saw 7 plays in 7 days. What fun that was! I was 21 @ the time and let me tell you, it definitely took both of us to "rein in" those girls, but much to their credit, they DID listen. Mostly. I learned so much about theater from my Aunt on that trip. We were lucky enough to get box seats to a play called "The Constant Wife" starting Ingrid Bergman!

I know the loss of my Aunt is going to be very difficult for my Uncle. They have been inseparable for 60 years. My prayers for him.

You know, things always happen in life bringing things full circle in one way or another. There is no good time to have surgery, no gooe time to lose a person you love. There is no control over those situations. It boils down to learning how to deal with them, hopefully in a positive way.

Always treasure those you love. Tell them you love them. Don't let it be assumed.

It's been a month of really learning the meaning of "letting go" for me with DS. He is now in the 2nd stage of boot camp. Earning more priviledges, but way more is expected of them to earn priviledges. Much to his credit, John is reall doing what it takes to make this work. Much like we ALL have to do in life. In the good or bad times, we still have to make things WORK.

Not hearing from him, except for letters, has been very difficult, but I can tell you I treasure each and every letter. As parents, you always wonder if you did a good enough job, did they learn the lessons you were trying to teach them (teens have an uncanny knack of being able to hide the fact that they've heard ANYTHING we've said, but from reading my son's letters, he did indeed hear . . . almost every word! emoticon So, the lesson in THIS situation is, never give up! That applies to our lives in general, too, of course. Never give up.

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    You have my prayers too-my virtual sister!
    2148 days ago
    Hi there! thank you for sharing your story. I have subscribed to your blog since I find it very inspirational and true from a mother's point of view. This is my second week on Sparkpeople. I really feel that being a part of this movement will make the difference from others I have tried.
    May is Military appreciation Month. Thank you for giving your son the opportunity to pursue a military career. We owe so much to these great men and women.
    2148 days ago
    Today is the beginning of a new week. I pray as your Mom has her knee replaced and you are there for her, that you look for those whom God will bring into your life to help you along the way. We are getting closer to happy events, my daughter's marriage in May and your son's return.

    I'm praying for you.
    2157 days ago
  • WINDY01
    I hope your mom's surgery went well. My mom had both of her knees done, and she is a new woman! It was a rough recovery, but she never regrets it.

    Hope your month is improving!
    2159 days ago
  • NANCY-
    What wonderful fond memories of your Aunt for you to always treasure.
    I hope all is going well with your mom. Learning to let go of our children is challenging, but necessary.
    You have so many changes going on right now.. Just remember to take care of you. You and your family are in my prayers.
    2164 days ago
    so sorry for your loss, She sounded like a fantastic person. Good luck with your Mum's operation. My mother had her left knee replace at the end of Feb and she is 77 years old.
    I agree don't take life as granted, we need to live it the best that we can
    2164 days ago
    Thanks for stopping by... Means a lot +Mark
    2164 days ago
    So sorry for your loss. You aunt sounds like an interesting and wonderful person. I have been praying for your DS and will add your mom and uncle to my prayer list. I have never had anything replaced but I did help my dear neighbor when she had her knees replaced. She is so thankful she had them both done and is very happy that she did. She just goes everywhere and is now pain-free.
    We never know what tomorrow holds in store for us, so we should never take our loved ones for granted.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    2165 days ago
  • SHARON10002
    CBarb, I had complete hip replacement10 years ago in January. I had bone on bone due to an abnormal joint, and degenerative arthritis that resulted from it. It was so painful, but because of my age, they would not do the surgery. They didn't even want to do it when I had it done cuz I was still "too young" by their standards. They wanted me to hold off another 10 years at least!

    I totally agree with Patricia Ann. The best piece of advice I can give your mom is to KNOW that the pain will be gone once the surgery is done.Yes there will be some pain during therapy and recuperation, but each day is one day closer to being pain free once and for all! I know things have come such a long way since I had my joint replacement done. I wish her the best.

    Also agree with Patricia Ann with the advice of the PTs. Tell your mom to Do her exercises as much as she can, and as as often as she can! I made sure I did mine at least three times a day, and it really helped speed up the healing and my mobility.

    Two months before the actual surgery, I met with a friend who was a rehab specialist and she gave me exercises to strengthen all of the muscles that would be cut, and build upper body strength, too. I too did these exercises religiously and even though I was about 20 years younger than most of the other patients, I was way ahead of the ones who did NOT do the exercises before the surgery or after the surgery. It made an enormous difference in my recovery too. My family was amazed at how quickly things progressed.

    It gladdens my heart that you are receiving so many letters from DS! He should be almost halfway through now! Hang in there, Barb.

    Sending lots of emoticon your way!

    2165 days ago
    You've got my prayers!
    2166 days ago
    Bless you! emoticon
    2166 days ago
    1. rotator cuff tears, Yes - i experienced that through an abusive relationship - thankfully I can now bend my arms enough to scratch and itch, but it took about 3years to get to this point.
    2. "Always tell them you Love them" - reminds me of my mom dying when I was 14 years young & very naive. I didn't tell her that the night she died, neither did my sister - but I believe she still knew it. At the time, it totally engulfed me that I didn't tell my mother I loved her and the next day she died. 31 years of being angry, sad, depressed, and just growing up without a mother, I've learned that she knew I loved her, but it has made me be a different/better person in relationships (good, bad, or indifferent). Right now, my husband is going through an indifferent phase and it is compounding on my already depressed state of mind - but, I suppose it is through the Grace of God that I can withstand just one more day of napping to get me through to the next day. Sorry, this sounds more like "me" than prayers for your family.
    3.I haven't read all your blogs to catchup but the DS who by your words is in bootcamp. Tell him I said Thank You! I have a big heart for those who choose to go into the military. I would've/could've used the structured environment but I never enlisted - A very dear young man saved my life 6 years ago via the internet. He was a sargent in the Army, his unit was stationed at the airport in Iraq or somewhere over there... And I was at home in the Midwest and was even more suicidal than I've ever been. People just dont realize how much they impact others ...
    4. I have two 20 something year olds. a boy and a girl, they are 2 years apart and they still live in the Midwest and I miss them greatly, seems like I miss them more lately than ever. But, I understand about wondering if I was a good parent. I wonder what really defines us a good parent?

    I'm adding you as a friend and writing down your name and your troubles to give some extra prayers. I just started reading a book it is about gratitude. The more you give the more you get! Who Knew? emoticon
    2166 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    Oh, Barb, your poor mom. She must be exhausted by so much pain and no break from it. I hope this surgery, once the initial pain from the operation has passed, offers her some true relief. Thankyou for sharing the wonderful memories of your aunt. I love that you let her know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how much she meant to you. I am so glad to hear your d.s. is doing so well with this huge challenge he has undertaken. He has really come leaps and bounds, hasn't he? I am thinking of you emoticon
    2167 days ago
    Oh...you made me cry a little. "Never give up. Never ever give up." a quote by Jimmy Valvano (sp?) This quote means so much to me that it would take volumes to explain and because this is YOUR blog... :)
    I am so happy that your son is so much closer to graduation. How exciting for you!
    And prayers for both your mother and your great aunt. And for you...this is a lot to deal with and you will need to remember to take care of yourself, too.
    2167 days ago
    Hi Barb........
    With the exception of breast cancer, your Mom and I are on similar paths. I had complete knee replacement 4 years ago in March. I had bone on bone due to Osteoarthritis and it was so painful, that when I had the surgery, the pain of the surgery itself was a piece of cake. My only regret was that I couldn't have had it done 2 years before I did (the robotic surgery wasn't approved yet). I wish her the best. The most helpful advice I received was from the PTs at the hospital where I had the surgery. Two months before the actual surgery, I met with the PTs and they gave me a booklet with all of the exercises that would help to increase the strength in my legs. I did these exercises religiously and even though I was about 20 years older than most of the other patients, I was way ahead of the ones who did NOT do the exercises before the surgery. It made an enormous difference in my recovery too.

    Your Aunt reminds me so much of a Great-Aunt of mine. She was a teacher and a very independent woman at a time when women were still very scarce in the workforce and even fewer had college degrees. She was instrumental in me becoming a teacher. She was also very INTO theatre and made several trips to Europe and to Russia and China. I wish that I would have been able to accompany her like you did your Aunt. You have my sympathy. I still miss my Aunt and it has been several years.

    Take care of yourself during all of this. I think that I read that she will be with you during her recovery. You are a nurse and will be the best helpmate for her at this time.

    My prayers are with all of you.
    2167 days ago
    I am sending my condolences for the loss of your aunt. She sounds like she was a wonderful person.

    I will pray for you, your Mom, your uncle and your son. We have to cherish the time we have with our loved ones.

    Sometimes we take that love for granted until it is removed.

    2167 days ago
  • VICIOUS421
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2167 days ago
  • FLAME42
    Prayers are being said for your whole family. Each person needs a little different twist to their prayer and I hope each member gets what will help them the most.
    It is amazing how well teen-agers can listen, learn and not let us in on it. Hoping his basic goes along quickly so you will be able to see him face to face.
    Postivie thoughts and prayers being sent to you, your mom, and your uncle. Sure your aunt is already in a better, more peaceful place.

    2167 days ago
    Sometimes it seems like things get overwhelming. It all comes at once and the pressure increases. Hang in there. Ride out the storm.

    Being there for you mom and uncle will help and your son is so lucky to have such a supportive mom. That's what keeps them all strong through these hard times.
    2167 days ago
  • AUNTB63
    Many good thoughts and prayers coming your way....for you for Mom and for Aunt and Uncle........Keeping positive is the way to approach life especially when they are painful for us....please take care, my friend. emoticon
    2167 days ago
  • JULIA_211
    I'm so sorry for your loss. emoticon What great memories you have of your dear aunt. I will have your mom and your family in my prayers. emoticon
    2167 days ago
    So sorry to hear of your great loss, but something I have learned over the years,
    (my Dad died when I was only 8 years old, and my Mom, remained a widow all those years, and "met him in heaven" almost a year ago this month, April 23)
    CHERISH THOSE MEMORIES! Place them into your/our memory banks, and your heart, and "bring them out" whenever the need arises.

    I am sure your son, is doing the same, he just might not realize that he is, and will be doing it!

    Lots of hugs, love, prayers, and good thoughts, are being sent by me.....hope you feel them all!
    2167 days ago
    My condolences to your family. Good to luck to your mom. I am sure it will go just fine! emoticon
    2167 days ago
    I'm sitting here with a lump in my throat and prayers in my heart for your mom. So sorry about the loss of your aunt. My mom has Alzheimer's (diagnosed in 1999) and she and dad will celebrate their 65th in December.

    Glad to hear your son is doing well but I'm sure it has a lot to do with the way he was raised.

    Thanks for sharing such wonderful memories.

    emoticon to you and your mom
    2167 days ago
    2167 days ago
    Keep the faith... +Mark
    2167 days ago
    Wishing your mom good luck and a speedy recovery! After, she'll probably wonder what she was so scared of. :)

    Sorry to hear about your aunt, but love your memories of her and how she inspired your life. Sounds like someone to cherish, indeed.

    Thanks for sharing your insight and life. I'm glad your son is doing well and heeded those many lessons, even if it didn't seem like it at the time.
    2167 days ago
    I love reading about John and his growing up. I am having similar good things happening on that front.

    Very sorry about mom's knee surgery and also the loss of your aunt.
    2167 days ago
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