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Reality Check!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

So i have slacked off for a month! since my birthday on the 16th of March! well i have gained 7lbs in that time out grew the pants that I just down sized too and that's not the worse of it!

I had a DR. Appointment today the first one in almost 2 years due to not having medical! Well i got medical and scheduled an appointment! Well the Dr. gives me a lecture on how over weight I am at 292lbs and all I can say is well you should have seen me in december weighing over 308lbs. Well that did not make her happy! My appointment took over an hour with a pap smear yuck and then some blood tests but the part that is causing my heart to ache is that not am just morbidly obese but what it is doing to my insides! I have fatty cysts growing that have to be surgically removed, my bladder is falling out and will have to be surgically fixed because the weight is pushing it out! And they found another lump in my breast probably another fatty cyst but being over weight makes my chances of cancer even greater she said! she did a diabetes test right then and said she would let me know the results by the end of the week :( this was just some of the problems I have feet problems from too much weight on them and all of this from just letting my body get fatter and fatter! So my month long meltdown is officially over! I am killing myself! I don't know why I just lost my motivation but when you see it all on paper it is very scary to think I could be dead in a year or so if i don't do something about this now! I see the Dr. in three weeks and she let me know she would like to see a smaller number on her scale! And I intend to give it to her!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTJUSTY 4/11/2012 10:37PM

    Take on ONE step at a time. Come back often and re-read this blog. Keep it fresh in your mind. Use it. I know better days are ahead. Just keep moving forward and let me know it there is anything that I can do to help. Know you are being supported from so many you don't even know. SP are all here to help, including me. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/11/2012 10:39:01 PM

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KLWALDON 4/11/2012 10:04AM

    It sounds like you are back and ready to attack! You can do it! Sometimes all we need is a nice kick in the rear to get going! Maybe this will be a good wake up call reminding you to get back at it. I am sorry to hear that you have to have surgery and such, but you can overcome this. Hang in there and be strong. Take it slow and just work on whatever healthy changes you can do. Maybe even just one a week. You can do this!!! We are here for you!!

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AMANDA_AGAIN 4/11/2012 8:53AM

    That's really scary. I hope it all works out. When I first lost 50 pounds in 2008 it was my birthday that totally derailed me. And before I got back on track I gained 40 or so pounds back. So I'm right there with you. We can do this!

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RAINBOWFALLS 4/11/2012 7:42AM

    I'm glad you are back at it! I'm sorry it had to be a scare from the doctor though. They say just 10 pounds can make a difference! emoticon emoticon

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SONGBUDDHA 4/10/2012 10:22PM

    This is a good eye-opener, but be wary of self-loathing. I can see some of it in your blog, and it will just tear you down and make your goals impossible to achieve. don't even bother to wonder if your thoughts are accurate or not, no matter what, they ARE NOT HELPFUL. Take a deep breath and decide to love yourself through this. Decide to treat yourself WELL through this. Make goals that you can feel good about, and don't make it about the rest of your life. What can you do to be positive TODAY. To succeed TODAY.
You are beautiful and capable and strong. You can love yourself by making good choices today, I know it. Don't let the fear or negativity win. You deserve more!

annjie

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 4/10/2012 7:58PM

    You can do this! Set a goal and then stick to it......... come here to one of the forums for support. I have 60 lbs to loose and I know it can be daunting to think about how much you have to loose - but I have seen people who have lost tons of weight do it because of this terrific site. Spark your way to the top! emoticon

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WENDYWITKOSKI 4/10/2012 7:57PM

    You can do it!


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