Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Today the kids went back to school, my mom left to go home to NY and I was left feeling quite empty,
sort of like I had a hangover,
only problem is I don't drink.
I was sleepy and feeling that depression hole starting to open. Then I made it 10x worse by stepping on the scale and seeing no change.
I started to get discouraged and because of all those feelings swirling around my kids Easter baskets started to look mighty good (Cheap chocolate calling my name, not that expensive stuff my mom filled their baskets with- Give me the cheap stuff, not Ghirardelli, its to smooth for a chocoholic that grew up on the cheap stuff) that just made me sound like an alcoholic would except in chocolate LOL.
I RESISTED the temptation.
I tried some positive self-talk which I am terrible at. I decided I would take the day in tiny increments and I would not let myself eat my way through my feelings and then feel even worse tomorrow.
I MADE A CONSCIOUS DECISION ....
TO NOT GIVE UP, TO NOT QUIT ON MYSELF YET AGAIN
I kept the food AND my nails out of my mouth,
I got the kids out to school at 9am, had some breakfast,
got my mom up and fed and ready to be on her way.
My husband was still sleeping and he deserved it after he really stayed positive this week, (career troubles),
so I tidied up the house, got some laundry started, did a few things on the internet,
I also worked on a project to make these really pretty sunflowers to hang up for spring,I'm not done yet but I have it well on its way, in my world CRAFTING = SANITY
.... and then I decided to go for a walk which would help with the energy that I wasn't feeling,
..... it would help quiet my mind
................and it would also help my calorie burn,
............ALL GREAT THINGS!!!!
So, since it was early and the kids were still at school, I decided to walk farther than what I have been doing
What I found was, that when I went to track my fitness tonight, I got curious about the map your route option, where you can put the points on a map of where you walk so you can see how far you actually go and then when your done it uses your current weight and the amount of time that it took you to walk that route to tell you how fast you did it, so I mapped the route I took AND, I was sooooooo excited to find that I went almost 4 miles when I didn't even think I had gone 3 anddddddd I was going much faster than I had thought I had been going. I had thought I was going around 28mins/mile and what I was really doing was 21mins/mile.
What a wonderful surprise!!!!!!!!
When I got home the kids had just gotten home and my husband did the most amazing thing by helping them with their homework....now that's sexy in my book....
We had a quiet evening. I did some kinect sports and rested and showered and got dinner done and things ready for tomorrow, we read as a family which has become one of my favorite parts of the day now, right now we are working on Artimis Fowl ( the 3rd one- about the cube) and then after the kids went to bed I tried zumba. I had picked up an earlier edition of the series, at the used media store (one of the best places ever), its very difficult for me to go in because its inside and cramped and on the weekends I just can't do it because it sends my anxiety and panic through the roof with all the people in there. I loved the zumba, it is soooo fun and I'm sure I look like a fool but I just don't care.
So to recap I was able to take what could have been a really bad day for me to get stuck in my thoughts, where the brain never feels like it turns off, into a pretty decent day, where I was really really active and had one of my highest step counts in a really long time. (12320)
For once, I am proud of myself and my inner peace that I achieved today with just a moderate inner battle.
1- I am thankful that the house was finally quiet and my husband and I had a chance to spend some time alone
2- I am thankful for this website and all it has helped me organize my goals and make it all realistic to achieve
3- I am thankful that I was able to find the Zumba DVDs for only $10.00 because its something I really wanted to try but wouldn't be able to afford, new
4- I am thankful that we got to spend our spring break and Easter, together as a happy family
5- I am thankful that I still have my 2 feet and legs that are working with minimal discomfort (4 years ago I had a complete drop foot, they never knew why, and they told me I'd never have use of it again or regain feeling in it, I didn't believe them and I did my own PT and now I have complete function, range of motion and feeling in it again)